Weird Al Yankovic

[fox69]

"Perform This Way"

"Perform This Way"



My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far
Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show!

I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby -- I perform this way
I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn't mean I'm crazy -- I perform this way

Ooo, my little monsters pay... lots 'cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way
Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay... hey, I just perform this way
I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen
I'll be a human jelly bean
'Cause every day is Halloween
For me...

I'm so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage
I'll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M
And for no reason now I'll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pété? (Who cut the cheese?)

Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lamé
No, not because I'm crazy - I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar
There's nothing too embarrassing
I'll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
'Cause baby, I perform this way

Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today
Don't call the cops now, baby, I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm always deviating from the norm this way-hey
I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm really not insane -- I just perform this way-hey

 

[fox69]

"Phony Calls"

"Phony Calls"


Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening
And you're stuck inside the house all alone
That's when you decide it might be fun to harrass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from
They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me

Don't go makin' phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to
I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall
But it's really gettin' old fast

Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin' for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan
He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning
Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four
He won't be laughin' when they're tracin his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me

Don't go makin' phoney calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to
Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on

[Moe :] Moe's Taverne - Where the elite meet to drink.
[Bart:] Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch.
[Moe :] Hold on; I'll check.
[Moe :] My crotch! My crotch! Hey, has anybody seen my crotch lately?
[others laughing]
[Moe :] Listen to me, you little puke.
[Moe :] One of these days, I'm gonna catch you
[Moe :] And I'm gonna carve my name on your back with an icepick!
[Bart laughing]

Don't go makin' phoney calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to
You went through the New Yourk City phone book and prank-called 'em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast
Grow out of this fast...

Don't go makin' phoney calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to
But you think it's funny drivin' folks right up the wall
But it's really gettin' old fast

 

[fox69]

"Polka Face"

"Polka Face"



Mum mum mum mah
Mum mum mum muh
Oh whoa oh oh oh
Can't read my, can't read my
No, he can't read-a my polka face
(She's got to love nobody)
Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read-a my polka face
(She's got to love nobody)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face (Mum mum mum muh)
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face

Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer
Oh, womanizer, oh, youre a womanizer baby
You are
You are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
(Womanizer)

Boy don't try to front
I know just what you are
Boy don't try to front
I know just what you are

(You!)
You say I'm crazy
(You!)
I got your crazy
(You!)
You're nothing but a
(You!)
Womanizer

You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down

Cuz day and night
The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

And I was like baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
Baby baby baby
I thought you'd always be mine

So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right, don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it

And I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron, catch me in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay,
Stuck on replay
Stuck on replay
Replay
Replay
Replay-ay-ay-ay

Baby, are you down, down, down, down, down?
Baby are you down?

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart
I'm only gonna break your heart

Don't stop
Making pop
DJ blow my speakers up
tonight
I'mma fight
Till we see the sun light
Tick tock
On the clock
But the polka don't stop, no
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo
Yodel-yodel-lady-hoo

P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
P-p-p-polka face p-p-polka face
Oh no you can't read my p-p-polka face p-p-p-polka face p-p-p-polka face

 

[fox69]

"Polka Party!"

"Polka Party!"



You could have a big dipper
Going up and down, all around the bends
You could have a bumper car bumping
This amusement never ends
I wanna be your sledgehammer
Why don't you call my name?
Aah, oh, let me be your sledgehammer
This will be my testimony, yeah
Yeah

There's a girl that's been on my mind
All the time
Su-su-sudio, oh
Now she don't even know my name
But I think she likes me just the same
Su-su-sudio, whoa

And my girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time
My girl wants to party all the time
Party all the time
She parties all the time

(Say you) Say me
Say it for always, that's the way it should be
(Say you) Say me
Say it together (Naturally)

We're going riding on the freeway of love
(Wind's against our back)
We're going riding on the freeway of love
(In a pink Cadillac)

That's why you need
Ooh, that's why
This is what you need, I'll give you what you need

Yah, yah, yaah, do the Harlem polka
Everybody now
(Yah, yah, yah, do the Harlem polka)

She's got it,
Yeah, baby, she's got it
Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire, what's your desire?

(Nasty) Nasty boys don't mean a thing
Oh, you nasty boys
(Nasty) Nasty boys, don't ever change
Oh, you nasty boys
I like this part

Ooh, rock me, Amadeus
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus
Ooh

Shout (Hey)
Shout (Hey)
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
Come on
I'm talking to you, come on

Please, papa, don't preach, I'm in trouble deep
Papa, don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby
Ooh, I'm gonna keep my baby
I'm gonna keep my baby
(Keep my baby, keep my baby, keep my baby)
Hey

 

[fox69]

"Polka Patterns"

"Polka Patterns"



Everywhere, I see them there
I stop and stare at patterns
I don't care, I must declare
I've got a flair for patterns

On my hair, the clothes I wear
My savoir faire is patterns
All I see is patterns
The patterns that repeat

Let's go into the bathroom
I know we're in a room where you would not expect much math
Usually you're in here for a shower or a bath
But if you gaze upon the floor, and if you're kinda smart
You'll see the repetition is like geometric art

Wow, haha
Look

Everywhere, I see them there
I stop and stare at patterns
I don't care, I must declare
I've got a flair for patterns

On my hair, the clothes I wear
My savoir faire is patterns
All I see is patterns
The patterns that repeat

Hey!

A polkameister like myself never has to be bored
I just grab my ax and play some patterns on my keyboard
Now's the time for earplugs if you care about your health
So stand back, everybody, I'm gonna express myself

Look at this, patterns
I've got blisters on my fingers
Woo, hey, aw, get down
Yeah, help me, somebody, woo

Still there? Okay

Next time you find yourself at an exciting polka party
You can make some patterns with your feet and with your body
If you don't know the steps yet, here's the gang with all the answers
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing, the "Weird Al" Polka Dancers

Here they are

Everywhere, we see them there
We stop and stare at patterns
We don't care, we must declare
We've got a flair for patterns

On our hair, the clothes we wear
Our savoir faire is patterns
All we see is patterns
The patterns that repeat

Wallpaper, skyscrapers, funny papers, patterns
Evergreens, nouvelle cuisine, human beings, patterns
Garden rakes, wedding cakes, rattlesnakes, patterns
Golden wheat, little feet, my heartbeat

I gotta stop

Patterns, patterns, patterns, patterns

 

[fox69]

"Polka Power!"

"Polka Power!"



Yeah, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha
I wanna really really really wanna zigga zigga ah
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give (you've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

Hey!

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin (yes it's a sin) to live so well

Ghetto superstar - that is what you are
Coming from afar, reaching for the stars
Run away with me, to another place
We can rely on each other, uh huh
From one corner to another, uh huh

Everybody (yeah)
Rock your body (yeah)
Everybody
Rock your body right
Backstreet's back, all right
All right

So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out
But now if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive
And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow but if the offer's shun
You might as well be walking on the sun
Might as well be walking on the sun

Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, well I will

I want something else
To get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say good-bye
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Do do do do do do

There's lots of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
We're all stars now in the dope show
We're all stars now in the dope show

Mmmbop, do floppa do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wap, do zap ah, do
Yeah-ee yeah
Mmmbop, do b'zap ah, do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wop, doom zap ah, do

I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares in my direction
Mama, this surely is a dream
Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream
Dig it, yeah mama, this surely is

Closing time
One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home
Take us home

'Cause it's closing time
Yeah it's closing time
We're talkin' 'bout closin' time
It's really closin' time

Hey

 

[fox69]

"Polka Your Eyes Out"

"Polka Your Eyes Out"



Rock the cradle of love. Rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true

Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo
(Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo)

The Love Shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love Shack, baby
(Love Shack, baby, Love Shack)
Hey!

Pump up the jam (hey!). Pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And I don't know if I can to it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough

The things you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things you say
You're unbelieveable
(Oh!)

Do me, baby. Do me, baby
You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night
You can do me when you wanna do me
Yodalodaladyhoo!

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump

She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide
Look so good, make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi
Woo!

Drum solo!

I miss you so much (M-O-I miss you so much)
I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you so much)
I miss you so much (M-O-I miss you so much)
I really miss you much

Hey, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Oh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no

He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes you fell all right
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein

Let's kick it!
If you got a problem, (yo!) I'll solve it
Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby... Word to your mother!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby forever
I'll be your ife... ice... baby!
Hey!

 

[fox69]

"Polkamon"

"Polkamon"



Krabby, Snubbull, Venonat
Mankey, Chansey and Zubat
Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree
Lugia and Caterpie
Oddish, Poliwag, Goldeen
Elekid and Nidoqueen
Victreebel and Magneton - Everybody Polkamon!

Aerodactyl, Seel, Machoke
Marill, Moltres, then Slowpoke
Articuno, Ditto, Muk
Flareon and ol' Psyduck
Cloyster, Kingler, Shellder, Gloom
Snorlax and of course Vileplume
Zapdos and Charmeleon - Everybody Polkamon!

It's time to polka
For Ponyta and Pidgey too
Come on put on your lederhosen
And try not to stamp on little Pikachu
You'd better grab yourself a partner
Like Tentacruel or Bulbasaur (Bulbasaur)
Hold on a minute - there's still at least a hundred and twenty-seven more

Including Ledyba and Omastar
Jynx, Bellossom and Magmar
Geodude and Arcanine
Jiggypuff and Mr. Mime
Don't forget about Sandslash
Exeggcute and Rapidash
Lickitung and Porygon - Everybody Polkamon!

Everybody Polkamon!
Everybody Polkamon!

 

[fox69]

"Polkarama!"

"Polkarama!"


[Chicken Dance]

Let's get it started (ha)
Let's get it started in here
Let's get it started (ha)
Let's get it started in here
Let's get it started (ha)
Let's get it started in here

And the base keeps runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin'

I say don't you know
You say you don't go
I say... take me out!

I say you don't show
Don't move, time is slow
I say [gunshot] take me out!

Beverly Hills - That's where I want to be! (gimme, gimme)
Living in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills - Rolling like a celebrity! (gimme, gimme)
Living in Beverly Hills

And birds go flying at the speed of sound
To show you how it all began
Birds came flying from the underground
If you could see it then you'd understand

[Accordion Solo]

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't you worry we'll all float on
Alright...

Feel good
Feel good
Feel good

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Dont cha?
Dont cha?

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Dont cha?
Dont cha? Dont cha? Dont cha?

Somebody told me
You had a boyfriend
Who looked like a girlfriend
That I had in February of last year
It's not confidential
Well, I've got potential
A rushin' and rushin' around

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

We'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy one taste of what we got (un'huh)
We'll have you spending all you got (come on)
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

When the pimp's in the crib ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot

When the pigs try to get at ya
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot

Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up?
All the gal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more what
Come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up?

Hey Mr.
Please Mr. DJ
Tell me if you hear me
Turn the music up!

She take my money (she take my money)
When I'm in need (when I'm in need)
Yea she's a triflin' friend indeed (friend indeed)
Oh she's a gold digga way over town (way over town)
That digs on me

Hey! Hey!

Now I aint sayin she's a gold digger
But she aint messin wit' no broke broke
Now I aint sayin she's a gold digger
But she ain't messin wit' no broke broke

Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go head

But I ain't sayin' she's a
Gold gold digger (gold gold)
Gold gold digger (gold gold)
Gold gold digger (gold gold)
Hey!

 

[fox69]

"Polkas On 45"

"Polkas On 45"



They tell us that we lost our tails
Evolving up from little snails
I say it's all just wind and sails
Are we not men, we are Devo
Are we not men, D-E-V-O

Smoke on the water
A fire in the sky
Smoke on the water

(I'm a man) I'm a boy
(I'm a man) Well, I'm your mother
(I'm a man) I'm a one night stand
(I'm a man) Am I bi
(I'm a man) I'm your slave
(I'm a man) I'm a little girl when we make love together

Hey, hey, hey
Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it
Better, better, better, better, better, better, yeah

L.A. woman
You're my woman
Got my mojo risin'
Mr. Mojo Risin'
Hey

In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey
Don't you know that I love you?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby
Don't you know that I'll always be true?

Hey, Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Hey, Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
Gonna shoot my old lady
Caught her messin' 'round with another man

Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay he-hoo
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-he-hoo, yodel-ay he-hoo

I'm an ordinary guy burnin' down the house

I'm hot blooded, check it and see
Got a fever of a hundred and three
Come on, baby, do you do more than dance?
I'm hot blooded, hot blooded

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watchin' you

Darling, you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here till the end of time
But you gotta let me know, whoa, whoa, whoa
Should I stay or should I go?

But it's all right now, in fact, it's a gas
But it's all right, Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas

People try to put us down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Singly do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
This is my generation, baby (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
(Talkin' 'bout my generation)
My, my, my, my, my, my generation (My generation)
Well, I'm talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-generation

Hey