Weird Al Yankovic

[fox69]

"Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me"

"Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me"



Well, I stare at myself in the mirror
When I wake up every morn
And I marvel at how great I've been
Since the day that I was born

I've made so many albums
I've run out of things to name 'em
My fans all want to be like me
And really, who can blame 'em

Teenage groupies all surround me
I guess I know why
No one else can match my charm
Why do they even try

All the girls in college
Turned me down for other fellas
But I know why, it seems to me
They're just insanely jealous
Who wouldn't be

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don't understand
That it's hard to be too humble
When you know that you're so grand

And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect
I just want you to see
That I've never met a person
Who's as wonderful as me

Now, I'm not arrogant or haughty
And I'm certainly not conceited
But anyone trying to match my wits
Is very soon defeated

I'm a marvellous human being
I'm just one big hunk of man
Sometimes I have to marvel
At how very great I am

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don't understand
That it's hard to be too humble
When you know that you're so grand

And I'm not trying to say I'm perfect
I just want you to see
That I've never met a person
Who's as marvellous, spectacular
Fantastic and terrific
And so very great and wonderful as me

 

[fox69]

"Nobody Here But Us Frogs"

"Nobody Here But Us Frogs"



Oh, I've really got those ozone layer blues
From my elbow down to my shoes
So let's throw another fire on the logs

Now we can go downtown and fill the latrine
With genuine Columbian lima beans
Dynastic and elastic, it's all made out of plastic
There's nobody here but us frogs

I'd like to find a girl who really cares
About the size of my nasal hairs
She could feed bananas to the dogs

We could climb the church and look down from the steeple
Where all the ants look like people
Nutritious and delicious, it's even surreptitious
There's nobody here but us frogs

They say I'm crazy
But I couldn't care less
Why don't they leave me alone
Can't they see that I'm happy to be a psychiatrical mess

I get a thrill
Bein' mentally ill, yes I do
They seem to think it's a crime
But it's a pleasure sublime, oh yes

That's why I'm happy here inside these padded walls
Makin' obscene telephone calls
And throwin' TV dinners to the hogs

I never trust a naked Eskimo
And don't you eat that purple snow
Revolting and disgusting
My belly button's rusting
There's nobody here but us frogs

They say I'm crazy
But I couldn't care less
Why don't they leave me alone
Can't they see that I'm happy to be a psychiatrical mess

I get a thrill
Bein' mentally ill, yes I do
They seem to think it's a crime
But it's a pleasure sublime, oh yes

That's why I'm happy here inside these padded walls
Makin' obscene telephone calls
And throwin' TV dinners to the hogs
I like to eat my ice cubes boiling hot
And Wilshire Boulevard's a Commie plot

Amazingly congruent, and commonly affluent
Innately effervescent, surprisingly incessant
Superblier commended, eccentric and demented
There's nobody here but us
Nobody here but us
Nobody here but us frogs, I mean it
Nobody here but us frogs

 

[fox69]

"Now That's What I Call Polka!"

"Now That's What I Call Polka!"


[Wrecking Ball:]
We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain
We jumped never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you wreck me

[Pumped Up Kicks:]
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run faster than my bullet

[Best Song Ever:]
And we danced all night to the best song ever
We knew every line, now I can't remember
I think it went ooh eh ooh
I think it went oohla eh ooh
I think it goes eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

[Gangnam Style:]
Eh, sexy lady
Po, po, po, po
Polka Gangnam Style
Eh, sexy lady
Po, po, po, po
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

[Call Me Maybe:]
Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
So call me, maybe
And all the other boys
Try to chase me
But here's my number
So call me, maybe

[Scream & Shout:]
I wanna scream and shout (hey!)
And let it all out
And scream and shout (hey!)
And let it out
We sayin', "Ohh, wee ohh, wee oh wee oh"
We sayin', "Ohh, wee ohh, wee oh wee oh wee ohh, wee oh wee oh”

[Somebody That I Used to Know:]
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[Timber:]
It's going down (hey!), I'm yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let's make a night you won't remember
I'll be the one you won't forget
(Timber! Timber!)

[Sexy and I Know It:]
I’m sexy and I know it
Girl look at that body
(He’s sexy and he knows it)

[Thrift Shop:]
I wear your grandad’s clothes
I look incredible
I’m in this big old coat
From that thrift shop down the road

(He’s wears your grandad’s clothes) That’s right!
(He looks incredible) I do!
(He’s in that big old coat) It’s large! Hey, lets go!
(From that thrift shop down the road)

I'm gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I'm hunting, looking for a come-up
This is super awesome

[Get Lucky:]
She's up all night til the sun
I'm up all night to get some
She's up all night for good fun
I'm up all night to get lucky

We're up all night til the sun
We're up all night to get some
We're up all night for good fun
We're up all night to get lucky

We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
We're up all night to get lucky
Up all night to get lucky

[Outro:]
Yes, we’re up all night to get
Can get lucky, we’re gonna get lucky, let’s all get lucky
We’re up all night to get lucky! (Hey!)

 

[fox69]

"Ode To A Superhero"

"Ode To A Superhero"



Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire

But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town

La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
And there's evil doers to fight

Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain

"With great power comes great responsibility"
That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line
Again and again and again

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dom

Now Norman's a billionare scientist
Who never had time for his son
But then something went screwy and before you knew he
Was trying to kill everyone

And he's ridin' around on that glider thing
And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he's scarier without it on

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now
But where'd you come up with those tights?

It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust

Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequal comes 'round

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
And we think that you'll do all right

 

[fox69]

"One More Minute"

"One More Minute"


[constant "doo wop"s in the background throughout the song]

Aahh

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die
Than spend one more minute with you

 

[fox69]

"One Of Those Days"

"One Of Those Days"



Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's one of those days, it's just one of those days

I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days, it's just one of those days

I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those day, it's just one of those days

Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days, gonna be one of those days

The nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days, ever have one of those days

The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone
It's just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days

The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, should've known
It's just one of those days, it's just one of those days

A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater-tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days

Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days

Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days

It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days

 

[fox69]

"Pacman"

"Pacman"


(one, two, thray, four)
(one, two [nasal hocking sound])

I used to be a pinball freak
That's where you'd find me every week
But now it's Pacman
Yeah it's the Pacman

I love to gobble up those dots
Keep pumpin' quarters in the slots
They call it Pacman
Yeah it's the Pacman

At the game arcade, they say I'm hard core
I can play all day 'til my hands are sore
And I quit my job just to play some more
But I won't give up 'til I break high score

Pacman [music from Pacman "intermission"]

Well it's the Pacman
Yeah it's the Pacman

Well it takes a lot of cash to play
(Pacman, get the cherry)
So I'm gonna sell my house today
(Pacman, eat 'em up)

I'm playin' Pacman
Yeah it's the Pac-ma-an

Hey mom, I won't be home this year
(Pacman)
Please forward all my mail right here
(Pacman)
I'm at the Pacman
Yeah it's the Pacman

And you're playing with no one but me
Pacman

[music from Pacman "intermission"]
[sound from when Pacman dies]

 

[fox69]

"Pancreas"

"Pancreas"



Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh
Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh
Oooooh

I'm always thinkin' 'bout it
I don't know what I'd do without it
I love, I really love
My pancreas

My spleen just doesn't matter
Don't really care about my bladder
But I don't leave home without
My pancreas

My pancreas is always
There for me
Ahh-oooh

Secreting those enzymes (bap bap bap)
Secreting those hormones too
Metabolizing carbohydrates
Just for me

Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba
My pancreas
Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba
My pancreas
Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba
My pancreas
Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba
My pancreas

Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba
My pancreas
Ba-ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba
My pancreas
Ooooooh

My pancreas attracts every other
Pancreas in the universe
With a force proportional
To the product of their masses
And inversely proportional
To the distance between them

Woo woo woo woo

Don'tcha you know you gotta
Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice
Flow, flow, into the deuodenum

Won'tcha
Flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice
Flow, flow, into the deuodenum

Insulin, glucagon
(Won'tcha flow, flow, flow, pancreatic juice)
Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Insulin, glucagon
(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)
Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Lipase, amylase, and tripsin
(Insulin, glucagon)
(Won'tcha flow, flow flow, pancreatic juice)
They gonna help with our digestion
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)
(Flow flow, into the deuodenium)

Lipase, amylase, and tripsin
(Insulin, glucagon)
(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)
They gonna help with our digestion
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}
(Insulin, glucagon)
(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
{They gonna help with our digestion}
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}
(Insulin, glucagon)
(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
{They gonna help with our digestion}
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Can't you see I love my pancreas
{Lipase, amylase, and tripsin}
(Insulin, glucagon)
(Won'tcha flow flow flow, pancreatic juice)
Golly-gee I love my pancreas
{They gonna help with our digestion}
(Comin' from the islets of Langerhans...)
(Flow flow, into the deuodenum)

Can't you see I love my pancreas

 

[fox69]

"Party At The Leper Colony"

"Party At The Leper Colony"



Finger food and an ice cold keg
It won't cost you an arm and a leg
Dance all night to a rotten band
Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand

Saturday night, it's the place to be
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
Hey

Met a little lady so pretty and young
She was quite a little talker 'till the cat got her tongue
She oozed up beside me, I turned on my charm
Well, pretty soon she was completely disarmed

I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me"
But she cried her eyes out - literally
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
Hey, hey

Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip
Sorry I was using your head for dip
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu

Well, hold the phone now, what do I see?
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony

There's a party at the leper colony
(Party at the leper colony)
There's a party at the leper colony
(Party at the leper colony)

Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
Yeah, party at the leper colony
Well, there's a party at the leper colony
(Party at the leper colony)
Hey

 

[fox69]

"Party In The CIA"

"Party In The CIA"



I moved out to Langley recently
with a plain and simple dream
Want to infiltrate some third world place (Whoa)
and topple their regime
those men in black with their matching suitcases
where everything's on a need to know basis
agents got that swagger
everyone's so cloak and dagger
I'm feeling nervous but I'm really kinda wishing
for an undercover mission
that's when the red alert came on the radio
and I put my ear piece on
got my dark sunglasses on
and I had my weapon drawn

So I get my handcuffs
my cyanide pills
my classified dossier
tapping the phones like yeah
shredding the files like yeah
I memorized all the enemy spies I gotta neutralize today
yeah it's a party in the CIA
yeah it's a party in the CIA

I've done a couple of crazy things that have almost gotten me dismissed
like terminate some head of state who wasn't even on my list
burn that microfilm, buddy, will you?
I'd tell you why but then I'd have to kill you
you need a quickie confession?
We'll start a water boarding session

no hurry on that South American dictator
I'll assassinate him later
that's when he walked right in my laser sights
and my silencer was on
and my silencer was on
and another target's gone

yeah we got our black ops all over the world
from Kazakhstan to Bombay
paying the bribes like yeah
plugging the leaks like yeah
interrogating the scum of the earth
we'll break 'em by the break of day
yeah it's a party in the CIA
yeah it's a party in the CIA

Need a country destabilized (stabilized)?
Look no further we're your guys (we're your guys)
We've got snazzy suits and ties (suits and ties)
and a better dental plan than the FBI's

better put your hands up and get in the van
Or else you'll get blown away (Blown away!)
staging a coup like yeah
brainwashing moles like yeah
we only torture the folks we don't like
You're probably gonna be OK (You're gonna be OK!)
yeah it's a party in the CIA
yeah it's a party in the CIA