Weird Al Yankovic

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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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"King Of Suede"

"King Of Suede"



There's a sale on our gabardine suits today
They're all thirty percent off from yesterday
There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool, and tweed
Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need
We got every color, we got ev'ry shade
We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
We got every fabric that was ever made
But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede

We got portly and regular and extra-long
(Is my size up there?)
We got tailors to fix it if it comes out wrong
(Is my size up there?)
We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick
(Is my size up there?)
With the collars ripped off, like in that Flashdance flick
(Is my size up there?)

Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid
You can buy off the rack or have it custom-made
And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade
'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede

If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom
(Is my size up there?)
We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan
(Is my size up there?)
We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too
(Is my size up there?)
And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you
(Is my size up there?)

Well, I never made it past the second grade
It took all of my life for me to learn this trade
But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made
'Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede

There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits
Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose
Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes

King of Suede

Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale
(Is my size up there?)
Look for our color catalog in next week's mail
(Is my size up there?)
There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today
It's the same old sale as yesterday

Thirty years in the same location I have stayed
There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
I got tough competition, but I'm not afraid
'Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede

King of Suede
King of Suede
King of Suede
I'll always be King of Suede
I'll always be King of Suede
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
Poruka
30.267
"Lame Claim To Fame"

"Lame Claim To Fame"


[Verse 1:]
One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I'm pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend's brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2
My neighbour's baby sitter
Dated three of the guys in Motley Crue
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Laker's game

[Hook:]
I got a lame
Lame claim to fame

[Verse 2:]
Check it out, I bought a second hand toaster
from a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an email from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well guess what, my birthday and Kim Kardashian's
Are exactly the same

[Hook x2]

[Bridge:]
Once at a party, my dentist accidentally
Sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted first in the comments
On a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi
But he told me this seat's taken
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who know a guy who knows a guy who know Kevin Bacon

[Verse 3:]
I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.'s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser
As Steve Carell at a Taco Bell
I don't mean to brag but
Paul Giamatti's plumber knows me by name

[Hook x4]

[Outro:]
Ow, let's get lame boys
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Lasagna"

"Lasagna"


La-la-la-la-lasagna
You want-a some-a lasagna magnifico
Or a-maybe spaghetti
Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go
Mama mia bambino
Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you
'Samatta you, 'samatta you

You should-a taste my lasagna
Ay, you no like-a lasagna
That's okay too
How about-a calzone
Some-a nice minestrone, ats good for you
Have-a some marinara
Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like
I know-a you like, I know-a you like

La-lasagna
La-lasagna
La-lasagna

Would you like some-a zucchini
Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard to beat
Have-a more fettuccini.
Ay, you getting too skinny, you gotta to eat
Ay, mange, mange

[gargling]

Ay, you-a pass the lasagna
A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy pig
Have-a more ravioli
You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a big
Like you cousin Luigi
Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan
Capisce paisan, capisce paisan

La-lasagna
La-lasagna
La-lasagna
La-lasagna

Hey
Hey

[laughing]
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Laundry Day"

"Laundry Day"



You gotta keep 'em separated

You like the latest fashions
You'd like to keep 'em clean
You take a trip every week to the laundromat
Throw a load in the washing machine

But if you don't wanna ruin your clothes
You gotta sort 'em out first as everyone knows
Remember bright colors and the others don't mix
Before you wash'em up, wash'em up, wash'em up, wash'em up
Hey

Are your undies turning pink
Take 'em out (You gotta keep'em separated)
Hey, are your cottons gonna shrink
Sort 'em out (You gotta keep'em separated)

Hey, then when it's time
You can stick' em in the dryer
You can hang 'em on a line
Hey, it's laundry day
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Leisure Suit Serenade"

"Leisure Suit Serenade"



Wearin' old T-shirts and grubby jeans
People say I look kinda odd
Well, I'm never accepted in the social set
'Cause they say that I'm a clod

But once in a while, I go to my closet
And I put on something mod
And when I step out in my leisure suit
People stand up and applaud

Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors don't fade
That's the leisure suit serenade

Now, it don't matter if the collar's bent
If it's got nylon twenty percent
Now I'm as cool as the ASB president
Leisure suit serenade

Leisure suit serenade
Slip one on and you got it made
You better hope and pray that the colors don't fade
That's the leisure suit serenade, oh yeah
That's the leisure suit serenade
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Let Me Be Your Hog"

"Let Me Be Your Hog"



Let me be your hog
Let me be your hog, now (snort, snort)
I said baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby baby
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Like A Surgeon"

"Like A Surgeon"



I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two

I was last in my class
Barely passsed at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid, yah I'm trying to avoid
A malpractise suit

Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line

Better give me all your gause nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last

Let me see, that I.V.
Here we go - time to operate
I'll pull his indsides out, pull his insides out
And see what he ate

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign

Woe, woe, woe

It's a fact - I'm a quack
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die, yah my patients die
Before they can pay

Like a surgeon, hey
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind

Like a surgeon, ooh like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel, and my forceps, and retractors
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh

Ooh baby, yah
I can hear your heartbeat
For the very last time
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.267
"Livin' In The Fridge"

"Livin' In The Fridge"



There's something weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...

And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge

There's something gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July
If you can name the object
In that baggie over there
Then mister, you're a better man than I

It's livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge

Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated
Fumigated or creamated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little bit of you're home cookin'
Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin' specimen
It always happens my friend
Again & again & again & again

Somethin' stinks in the fridge today
And it's been rottin' there all week
It could be liver cake or wooly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should another peek...

Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what (dysentary) it is at all (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop (dysentary) the mold from growin' (dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
Poruka
30.267
"Living With A Hernia"

"Living With A Hernia"



Help me out! Dig!
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old

Too much bad pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now... Say it!
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation

I live with a hernia
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia
Wait a minute...
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
There's incomplete
Epigastric
Bladder
Strangulated
Lumbar hernia
Richter's hernia
Obstructed
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia...Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
I feel bad!
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
Poruka
30.267
"Matter Of Crust"

"Matter Of Crust"



Some bread, you can get bargain-priced
And every loaf you buy begins with a singular slice
But you know it will go stale again
Always does, its just a question of when

I've lived long enough to have learned
The longer it stays in the toaster, the more it gets burned
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of crust
 
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