Frank Zappa

[fox69]

"The Chrome Plated Megaphone Of Destiny"

"The Chrome Plated Megaphone Of Destiny"



A-ha-hah!
Bwah-ha-ha!
(Cough! Cough!)
Ha ha ha ha!
Nyah-ha-ha!
Ha ha ha . . . ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .
Nyah-ha-ha-ha!
Oh . . . Arbitrary!
Nyah-ha-ha-ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
AH HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA
Arbitrary!
HA HA
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Bwah ha ha . . . (Cough!)
Mmph ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha (cough! cough!)
AH HA HA HA HA
AH HA HA HA
Arbitrary!
HA HA
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

[fox69]

"The Closer You Are"

"The Closer You Are"



The closer you are
The brighter the stars in the sky
And darling,
1 realize
That you're the one in my life
Oh oh

My heart skips a beat
Every time
You and 1 meet
My life, my love, my dear
I can't defeat
The yearning deep in my heart To have only you

When 1 first sow you,
I did adore you,
And all your loving ways
But then you went away,
But now you 're back to stay,
And my love for you grows stronger every
Doy-ahhh Way-ahhh Way

The closer you are, The brighter the flames in my heart,
And darling,
We'll never part
We'll always be in love

 

[fox69]

"The Crab-Grass Baby"

"The Crab-Grass Baby"


[Crab-Grass Baby:]
Stroke me pompadour, pompaduooor, pompaduooor, pompaduooor. Stroke me pompadour, father. Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the problems I am having with my car an my girlfriend. Ooo-wo-woo, the white man's burden!

Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the upholstery; rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six Olds. About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the trans . . . tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile (either that or go to Tijuana or go to BROWN MOSES way down in Egypt-Land). It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up. Buy me a Volvo, faaather.

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
Isn't it terrific, artificial RHONDA!

[Crab-Grass Baby:]
One-Adam-Twelve . . . see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-Ha-ha-ho! That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo.

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
He's so young, and yet, SO WISE!

[Crab-Grass Baby:]
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants! I went doody, faaather, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob.

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
His vocabulary is astonishing!

[Crab-Grass Baby:]
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
Ohhh . . . I'm so lucky to have a son like this . . .

[Crab-Grass Baby:]
Barf me out . . . gag me with a Volvo!

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the MINE-SHAFT!

[Crab-Grass Baby:]
Take me to the movies. Buy me a balloon. Stroke me pompadour!

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo! Hoo hoo hoo!

[Thing-Fish:]
Dis boy have a 'PROVLEM'! However, how 'bout a nice round of applause fo de three 'WISE MAMMIES', comin' atcha outa chute numba five!

 

[fox69]

"The Dangerous Kitchen"

"The Dangerous Kitchen"



The dangerous kitchen
If it ain't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat things
Where the cats ate through the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS
Sometimes the milk can hurt you
(If you put it on your cereal
Before you smell the plastic container)
And the stuff in the strainer
Has a mind of its own
So be very careful
In the dangerous kitchen
When the night time has fallen,
And the roaches are crawlin'
In the kitchen of danger
You can feel like a stranger
The bananas are black
They got flies in the back
And also the chicken
In the dish with the foil
Where the cream is all clabbered
And the salad is frightful
Your return in the evening
Can be less than delightful
You must walk very careful
You must not lean against it
It can get on your clothing
It can follow you in
As you walk to the bedroom
And you take all your clothes off
While you're sleeping
It crawls off
It gets in your bed
It could get on your face then
It could eat your complexion
You could die from the danger
Of the dangerous kitchen
Who the fuck wants to clean it?
It's disgusting and dirty
The sponge on the drainer
Is stinky and squirty
If you squeeze it when you wipe up
What you get on your hands then
Could un-balance your glands and
Make you blind or whatever
In the dangerous kitchen
At my house tonight

 

[fox69]

"The Dick Kunc Story"

"The Dick Kunc Story"


[Dick:] I started out in Florida uh, producing a record at a studio, and I got friendly with the engineer, and got interested in engineering. Next thing I knew, I was listening to an album called Freak Out! by the Mothers Of Invention. I became very interested in their concept of music, their concept of, of uh, society in general, and their concept of humor, which I thought was very good, and I enjoyed it, because uh, they were saying a lotta, a lotta whole bunch of stuff that I wanted to say and I agreed with and thought was true. Then one day I decided, "I'll move to New York, because it's, the air is clean, and the people are friendly, and everybody's in love." So I went to New York, and I got this job at this incredible twelve track studio. Well, I didn't know from twelve track, I thought four track was really hot stuff. So I went in there and they said, "Here's the board. Learn it." He go, "Your first client's coming in in five minutes." Well, my first client was Frank Zappa.

 

[fox69]

"The Dressing Room"

"The Dressing Room"


Big John Mazmanian!
Gas Rhonda!
Funny Car!
Sunday!
[FZ:] Thank you
[Aynsley:] You're welcome
[Howard:] Hey, listen!
[Mark:] My throat . . .
[Howard:] Send me twelve eight by ten glossies in Monday's mail
[?:] Fifty bucks a piece
[Howard:] Fifty bucks a piece? Cheap at twice the price. Call my service
[?:] Right
[Howard:] Thanks a lot man, would really . . . A funny door!

 

[fox69]

"The Duke Of Prunes"

"The Duke Of Prunes"



A moonbeam through the prune
In June
Reveals your chest
I see your lovely beans
And in that magic go-kart
I bite your neck
The cheese I have for you
My dear
Is real
And very new!

A moonbeam through the prune
In June
Reveals your chest
I see your lovely beans
And in that magic go-kart
I bite your neck
The love I have for you
My dear
Is real
And very new!

Doh-Doh-Doh Doh-Doh

Prune!
(Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
If it is a real prune...
(Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
Knows no cheese!
(Chunka Chunk . . .
Chunka Chunka Chunka Chunka Chunk . . . )
And stands . . .
(Oh No-o-o-o!)
Taller & stronger
Than any tree
Or bush!
And I know
The love I have for you
Will grow & grow & grow
I think
And so my love
I offer you
A love that is strong
A prune that is true!

 

[fox69]

"The Duke Regains His Chops"

"The Duke Regains His Chops"


[includes a quote from Baby Love (Holland/Dozier/Holland)]

And you'll be my Douchess
My Douchess of Prunes

A moonbeam through the prune
In June
Reveals your chest
I see your lovely beans
And in that magic go-kart
I bite your neck
The cheese I have for you
My dear
Is real
And very new!
(New cheese!)

Prunes!
(Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
If they are fresh prunes . . .
(Pah-Da-Dahhh!)
Know no cheese!
(Chunka Chunka Chinky Chunky Stinky Stanky . . . )
And they just lie there
Drowning & sickening
And it's just . . . I dunno
Oh-h-h-h-h!
And I know
I think
The love I have for you
Will never end
Well . . . maybe
(Whah!)

And so my love
I offer you
A love that is strong
A prune that is true!
(Ha Ha!)

This is the exciting part . . .
It's like the SUPREMES...
See the way it builds up
BABY BABY
D'ya feel it?
BABY BABY
My prune is yours, my love
My cheese for you
My baby prune
My baby prune
I do like you
My baby cheese etc., etc.
You know I do
My dear
I love you etc., etc.
Oh cheesy fat
Oh cheesy fat
Oh cheesy fat
Oh baby fat
Oh cheesy fat
Oh baby blue

 

[fox69]

"The Finale"

"The Finale"


They're gonna clear out the studio
They're gonna tear down all the . . .
They're gonna whip down all the . . .
They're gonna sweep out all the . . .
They're gonna pay off all the . . .
(Oh, yeah!)

And then . . .
And then . . .
And then . . .
And then . . .

Hey hey hey, everybody in the orchestra and the chorus
Talkin' 'bout every one of our lovely and talented dancers
Talkin' 'bout the light bulb men
Camera men
The make-up men
(The fake-up men)
Yeah, the rake-up men
(Especially Herbie Cohen, yeah . . .)
They're all gonna rise up
They're gonna jump up
I said jump up
Talkin' 'bout jump right up and off the floor
Jump right up and hit the door
They're all gonna rise up and jump off!
They're gonna ride on home
They're gonna ride on home
They're gonna ride on home
They're gonna ride on home
And once again
Take themselves
Seriously, yeeeah!
Two, three, four, seriously
They're all gonna go home (ye-hey!)
Through the driving sleet and rain
They're all gonna go home
Through the fog, through the dust
Through the tropical fever and the blistering frost
They're all gonna go home
And get out of it as they can be, baby
And the same goes for me
(The same goes for me)
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!

And each and every member of this rock oriented comedy group in his own special way
Is gonna get out of it as he can be
We all gonna get wasted
We all gonna get twisted
We all gonna get wasted
We all gonna get twisted
And I am definitely gonna get . . .
REAMED
'Cause I'm such a lonely
I'm such a lonely
A lonely, lonely, talkin' 'bout a lonely guy!
Oh, and I know tonight, I am definitely . . .
I am positively . . .
I just have to get . . .
BENT, REAMED AND WASTED

[JCB:] A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey!

[Howard:] He's making me do this, ladies and gentlemen. I wouldn't do it if it weren't for him. You noticed, all through this material, I've been glancing over toward my left? Well, I'll tell you the reason for that, ladies and gentlemen. HE is over there. HE is over on the left. HE is the guy that is making me do all this shit. Right over there. Now all through this movie, every time we've been on stage, I've had to look over in that direction, right? You saw it . . . you know. Well that's 'cause HE's over there. I've got to watch him for signs. He jumps up and down like a jackass. I can't even believe the guy sometimes. But we gotta watch him. "After all," we said, "it's Frank's movie." Now, we're THE MOTHERS, but it's still Frank's movie. Let's say it, he got to paid for it, he rented the studio, had all these cheesy sets built . . . it's so moche! I can't even stand it . . . He's telling everybody, right now, right over there, to . . .

 

[fox69]

"The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth"

"The Girl Wants To Fix Him Some Broth"


[Male Tenor:]
The girl wants to fix him some broth.

[Female Soprano:]
Tinselcock!

[Chorus:]
Doo-wee-oo
Tinselcock, my baby

[Female Soprano:]
Would you like some broth?

[Male Tenor:]
Some nice soup

[Female Soprano:]
Some hot broth?

[Male Tenor:]
Small dogs in it

[Female Soprano:]
Yooooouuuu . . . Do you?

[Male Tenor:]
You like broth?
Dog broth?

[Female Soprano:]
Hot broth?

[Male Tenor:]
You like dog broth hot?

[Female Soprano:]
Hot dogs debris

[Male Tenor:]
How do you like it?
Debris of the four styles offered
Debris broth breath
And the ever popular hygienic
European version
Tinselcock!

[Chorus:]
Tinselcock!

[Male Tenor:]
Which do you choose?