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"The Torture Never Stops"

"The Torture Never Stops"



Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window hole a hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day;
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops

Slime 'n rot, rats 'n snot 'n vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldiers, man, holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes of every tool of pain
An' a sinister midget with a bucket an' a mop where the blood goes down the drain;

An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig in a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loin's 'n the groin's is soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
And disagree, well no-one durst
He's the best of course of all the worst
Some wrong been done, he done it first

(Well, well) An' he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin'
(Yeah) 'N weepin' greenish drops,
(Well) In the night of the iron sausage,
(Well) Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops.

Flies all green 'n buzzin' in his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people that he's locked away up there
Are they crazy?,
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?,
It has never been explained since at first it was created
But a dungeon like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at hers
Look at him
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
 
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"The Uncle Meat Variations"

"The Uncle Meat Variations"


[includes Exercise #4]

Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Ya ya ya ya ya
ahhhahahhhhhhhh
Fuzzy dice & bongos
FUZZY DICE
I got 'em
At the Pep Boys . . . at the BOYYYYYYYYS
Fuzzy Dice & bongos
Brodie knob & spinners
Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha
 
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"The Untouchables"

"The Untouchables"


[includes a quote from Hawaii Five-0 (Stevens)]

Rico! Youngblood! Wake up!
Prohibition is over, but the country's still a mess!
They need us out there!
We've got some cleaning up to do - especially when it comes to
THIS GUY . . .
Get those sport coats on with the big lapels . . .
They're back - they're fashionable again!
Okay - let's look at some mug-sheets
of the suspects from the 80's . . .

ADMIRAL POINDEXTER! Get back on Felix The Cat where you belong!
Get the damn pipe out of your mouth!
You're history, you're gone!

OLIVER NORTH! No "Secret Government" for you, buddy!
You're over! you're trough!

BILL CASEY! You're dead!
(I mean that . . . )

BUSH! You're still a wimp - I'm sorry - You're history!

DEAVER! NOFZIGER! You're crooks! Book 'em Dan-o! Dan-o? How'd he get in the show? Get outta here!

REAGAN! You're asleep! Wake up! The country's in a mess!
You're anyway out in the way, buddy
You're history - you're meat - you're through!
You're vapor - you're baloney without the mayo, buddy!
You're outta here - In fact, it's Robin Leach instead!
"I don't know why . . . "

Hey, fellas - take me to the bridge! I want it now!
Rico! Youngblood! Let's get outta here! It's all over!

THE UNTOUCHABLES!

[FZ:] And The Untouchables are: Ike Willis . . .
[Ike:] Thank you!
[FZ:] Mike Keneally . . .
[Ike:] History!
[FZ:] Walt Fowler, Bruce Fowler, Paul Carman, Albert Wing, Kurt McGettrick, Chad Wackerman, Ed Mann, Robert Martin, Scott Thunes, Eric Buxton . . . Thanks for coming to the show, and good night!
 
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"The Voice Of Cheese"

"The Voice Of Cheese"


[Suzy:]
Hello, teenage America (heh),
My name is Suzy Creemcheese,
(SNORK)
I'm Suzy Creemcheese because I've never worn fake eyelashes in my whole life
And I never made it on surfing set
And I never made it on beatnik set
And I couldn't cut the groupie set either
And, um . . .
Actually I really fucked up in Europe.
(SNORRRRRK)
Now that I've done it all over and nobody else will accept me
(SNORRRK)
I've come home to my Mothers
 
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"The Way I See It, Barry"

"The Way I See It, Barry"


[Spider:] The way I see it, Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.
 
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"The White Boy Troubles"

"The White Boy Troubles"


[includes Amnerika and quote from What'd I Say (Charles) and Wooly Bully (Samudio)]

[Ensemble: (singing)]
De white boy troubles!
(White boy troubles!)
De white boy troubles!
(Boy got troubles!)
Oh what a boidennn!
(Ooh, heavy boidennn!)
His car's fucked up!
De boy got a provlem!
She ripped up de 'polstry
(Wit de red dress on)
Outa dat O-zo-mobile!
(Tell me what I say)
Hafta go ta Tia-Juana now!
(Mattie told Hattie)
He should go to BROWN MOSES,
Way down in Egyppp-Lainnn!
(Egyppp-Lainnn)

[Thing-Fish: (checking off a clipboard, like a social worker)]
Looks likes y'done putty good heahh, HARRY-AS-A-BOY! I sees ya' growin' up like a weed, axmodently reproducin' YOSEFF 'n evvythang. Done found some low-rent housin' in a one-dimensional cardbode nativity box on some Italian's funt lawn . . . bunch o' crab-grass underneath de offspring fo quick 'n easy sanitatium . . . shit! Y'all provvly be savin' up fo yo first LAVA LAMP putty soon!

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
We're incredibly happy! Even though I'm gay for business purposes, my relationship with artificial RHONDA has blossomed into something really beautiful, although I must confess to being baffled by how she got knocked up.

[Thing-Fish:]
Well, if de trufe be told, it were de father o' de boy at de gas statium . . . when y'sent de ol' lady in fo' de inner-tube patchin', 'round de foth o' July.

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
QUENTIN? How could he be so unfaithful? I'm sure God has ways of punishing naughty little guys like that!

[Thing-Fish:]
Mights well stop complainin', boy! De damage been done! Leastways y'all can pretend to be SOME KINDA DADDY! Yo' rubber bitch ain't gwine change no diapers! Y'said y'all was incredibly happy! Enjoy it while y'got it, boy! De shit gwine hit de fan in a minute!

[Harry-As-A-Boy:]
What? Something BAD is going to happen?

[Thing-Fish:]
You figgit out . . . judgin' fum de intellectional expressium on yo' beloved's ignint face, de bitch gwine be contemplatin' A CAREER OF HER OWN! See dat?

Look like she got her one good eye on a briefcase 'n a tweed spo't coat down de mall somewheres!

Durin' de intromissium, few de SISTERS seen her 'tendin' a CONSCIOUSNESS RAISIN' MEETIN' over at de Hiltum! Thass right! Bitch passed up de MASH POTATOES 'n took off wit' de High School Cafeteria Butch.

Makin' matters woise, de Italian dat be ownin' yo' nativity bungalow been wondrin' 'bouts de hanky AN' de panky 'tween you 'n dem two concrete flamingos ovuh by de steps! You been messin' wit de State Bird o' New Jersey, muthafucker! Dat kin git you five to life in dis vicinity! If you wants a little frennly advice, boy, I'd be growin' my ass up a little quicker, 'n whizz on outa heahh!

Leave de ugly baby in de crab-grass, snatch up yo' wretched excuse fo a woman, 'n climb on up de heap! Get yo'seff a job drivin' a truck fulla string-beans to Utah! Make sumfin' out y'seff, so's y'can afode a ticket to de MAMMY NUN SHOW! Den we can piss all ovuh de adulterated wimp you gwine become, an' get de shit rollin' agin'!
 
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"The Worst Reviews"

"The Worst Reviews"


[Howard:] From 200 Motels he expects the worst reviews of any movie ever put out, and I said, "Yeah, Frank? Why is that?" And he says, "Well, nobody's ready for it . . . " But it doesn't really matter, you know? He knows that the kids are gonna go see it, because it's a weird movie. By the time this jerky comes out, man, I mean, there still won't be anything out close to it
 
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"They Made Me Eat It"

"They Made Me Eat It"


[Girl #1:] What's it like when . . . when they play the piano? Does it hurt your ears?
[Larry:] No, I found a corner
[Girl #1:] Yeah
[Larry:] Yeah
[Girl #1:] Soundproof
[Larry:] Well, not really soundproof but it doesn't bother you as much as outside . . . you you sneak in
[Girl #1:] Lucky you found such a big piano, you know
[Larry:] You sneak under the back, see? Way here down here. Get way down here here inside and when you hide in the corner, nobody can find you. See, they can't hear nothing 'cause it's cushioned
 
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"This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)"

"This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Prologue)"



This town
This town
This town we're in is just a
Sealed Tuna Sandwich with the wrapper glued
We get a few in every tour
I think we've played this one before.
 
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"This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)"

"This Town Is A Sealed Tuna Sandwich (Reprise)"



This town
This town
This town we're in is just a
Sealed Tuna Sandwich with the wrapper glued
We get a few in every tour
They're always such a fucking bore

I CAN'T WAIT TILL WE BLOW THIS TOWN AND WORK A PLACE WITH SOME LOCAL HOT ACTION!
 
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