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"Tiger Roach"

"Tiger Roach"



This album is not available to the public.
Even if it were, you wouldn't wanna listen to it!

Iron Man!

That's fine!
Tiger spine!
Work out!
Monza blocks!
Light switch!
Roaches' smocks!
Ice cream!
What a dream!
Memories of
Flyin' machines!

Green Lantern!
Funny lizard!
Three-way!
Out'sight!
Buddy learns!
See Spot run!
Work out!
Have some fun!
Yeah . . .

Wilhelmina!
Mildew!

Billboard!
Night light!
Hammerhead!
Outta sight!

In Baghdad
Roaches fly!
Outta sight!
'Cross the grassy sky!
Anvils fly!
Mountains burp!
Turpentine!
Tina werp
Lord gosh!
Oooh . . .
Rush eye

What's that noise?
Looks like greeny!
Maybe it's purple
Spot eye!
Hammer law
Bend iron!
So fine
Tiger Roach!
 
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"Time Is Money"

"Time Is Money"



Time is money . . .
But Space is a long, long time!

Perhaps you are surprised
To see I speak your language?

But I have been monitoring
Your Earthly broadcasts for
Many years . . .
For many years . . .
And the reception on my little planet
Is extremely fine!

Time is money . . .
Space is a long, long time!
On my lonely throne
In the cosmic night I ponder the vast expanses
Between your puny world and mine!

From my Couch-In-The-Sky,
As my planet goes by,
I behold all your misery below there!
I have seen all your lying,
And crying, and dying,
And, believe me,
YOUR planet is NOWHERE!

SPACE is a VERY LONG TIME!

(And if the equation,
As set forth above,
Is PROVED when we get to
The BOTTOM LINE . . .
The 'Powers Financial'
I'll hold o'er your world
Will complete my fantastic design!)

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
 
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"Tinsel Town Rebellion"

"Tinsel Town Rebellion"



From Madam Wong's to Starwood
To the Whiskey on the strip
You can hear the crashing, blasting strum
Of bands that come to be real hip
And get a record contract
From a talent scout someday
They'll sell their ass, their cocks and balls
They'll take the check 'n' walk away
If they're lucky they'll get famous
For a week or two perhaps
They'll buy some ugly clothes to wear
And hope the business don't collapse
Before some stupid magazine
Decides they're really good
They're a Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
From downtown Hollywood
Tinsel Town Rebellion,
Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
It's a little bitty Tinsel Town Rebellion
A Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
They used to play all kinds of stuff
And some of it was nice
Some of it was musical
But then they took some guy's advice
To get a record deal, he said
They would have to be more punk
Forget their chops and play real dumb
Or else they would be sunk
So off they go to S.I.R. to learn some stupid riffs
And practice all their poses
In between their powder sniffs
Chop up a line now, snort it up now
And when they think they've got it
They launch a new career
Who gives a fuck if what they play
Is somewhat insincere
Tinsel Town Rebellion,
Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
A Tinsel Town Rebellion
A Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
Did you know that in Tinsel Town the people there
Think substance is a bore
And if your New Wave group looks good
They'll hurry on back for more
Of leather groups and plastic groups
And groups that look real queer
The Tinsel Town aficionados
Come to see and not to hear
But then again this system works
As perfect as a dream
It works for all those record company pricks
Who come to skim the cream
From the cesspools of excitement
Where Jim Morrison once stood
It's the Tinsel Town Rebellion
From downtown Hollywood
 
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"Titties & Beer"

"Titties & Beer"




It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the aide of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

I noticed even the crickets
Was actin' weird up here
So I figured I might
Just drink a little beer
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . "
But there was no reply
'Cause she was gone . . .

"Where's those titties I like so well,
'n' my godam beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil , . .
He's about this big , . .

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
I swear I knowed it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabifch!"
'Cause I was mad at him.
Well he just got out the floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter.
Said: BANG BANG BANG

The sucker just laughed 'n said, "Put it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?"
YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n all!"
WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tall?"
EVEN HER BOOTS? "Would I lie to you?"
SHIT, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
'WELL DON'T THEY PAY Y'ALL GOOD FOR THE
STUFF THAT YOU DO?
"I can't complain when the checks come through . . ''
WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIL,
DO YOU HEAR!
"Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I am fhe Devil,
Do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here , . ''
YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR . . .
GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
I'LL SIGN . . . 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
SQUEEZIN' TIME!

"You can't fool me, man . . . you ain't that bad . . .
I mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls I had . . .
Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too . . .
'n both of fhose suckers was worse 'n you . .
"WELL, LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIL SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?

[improvised dialog]

"No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
I mean ... hold on a minute, boy . . . that's
Magic Ink!"

And then the Devil puked
'N out jumped m'girl
They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN'
All around the world, she said:
"I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"

And then she gave us the finger,
It was rigid 'n stiff,
That's when the Devil, he farted
An' she went right over the cliff
The Devil was mad took off to my pad
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
I swear I do declare!
How did she get back there?
[etc. repeat]
 
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"Toads Of The Short Forest"

"Toads Of The Short Forest"


[includes a quote from You Oughta Be In Pictures (Heyman/Suesse)]

[FZ:] At this very moment on stage we have drummer A playing in 7/8, drummer B playing in 3/4, the bass playing in 3/4, the organ playing in 5/8, the tambourine playing in 3/4, and the alto sax blowing his nose

HANDS UP!
POO-LAAAH!

[FZ:] Thank you
 
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"Treacherous Cretins"

"Treacherous Cretins"


[includes parts of the leather conversation]

Heh heh heh . . .

[Bozzio:] It's gone . . .
[O'Hearn:] What? Your talent for sucking?
[Bozzio:] I . . .
[O'Hearn:] Never . . .
 
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"Trouble Every Day"

"Trouble Every Day"



Well I'm about to get sick
From watchin' my TV
Been checkin' out the news
Until my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
And when it's gonna change, my friend
Is anybody's guess

So I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Wednesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched 'em throwin' rocks and stuff
And chokin' in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin' 'round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin' down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

And I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Well, you can cool it,
You can heat it . . .
'Cause, baby, I don't need it . . .
Take your TV tube and eat it
'N all that phony stuff on sports
'N all the unconfirmed reports
You know I watched that rotten box
Until my head begin to hurt
From checkin' out the way
The newsman say they get the dirt
Before the guys on channel so-and-so

And further they assert
That any show they'll interrupt
To bring you news if it comes up
They say that if the place blows up
They will be the first to tell,
Because the boys they got downtown
Are workin' hard and doin' swell,
And if anybody gets the news
Before it hits the street,
They say that no one blabs it faster
Their coverage can't be beat

And if another woman driver
Gets machine-gunned from her seat
They'll send some joker with a brownie
And you'll see it all complete

So I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Hey, you know something people?
I'm not black
But there's a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I'm not white

Well, I seen the fires burnin'
And the local people turnin'
On the merchants and the shops
Who used to sell their brooms and mops
And every other household item
Watched the mob just turn and bite 'em
And they say it served 'em right
Because a few of them are white,
And it's the same across the nation
Black and white discrimination
Yellin' "You can't understand me!"
'N all that other jazz they hand me
In the papers and TV and
All that mass stupidity
That seems to grow more every day
Each time you hear some nitwit say
He wants to go and do you in
Because the color of your skin
Just don't appeal to him
(No matter if it's black or white)
Because he's out for blood tonight

You know we got to sit around at home
And watch this thing begin
But I bet there won't be many live
To see it really end
'Cause the fire in the street
Ain't like the fire in the heart
And in the eyes of all these people
Don't you know that this could start
On any street in any town
In any state if any clown
Decides that now's the time to fight
For some ideal he thinks is right
And if a million more agree
There ain't no Great Society
As it applies to you and me
Our country isn't free
And the law refuses to see
If all that you can ever be
Is just a lousy janitor
Unless your uncle owns a store
You know that five in every four
Just won't amount to nothin' more
Gonna watch the rats go across the floor
And make up songs about being poor

Blow your harmonica, son!
 
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"Truck Driver Divorce"

"Truck Driver Divorce"



Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad
(Steel guitars Usually weepall over it)
The bold & intelligent MASTERS OF THE ROAD,
With their Secret Language,
And their GIANT OVER-SIZED MECHANICAL TRANS-CONTINENTAL HOBBY-HORSE!
Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad!
Oh the wife!
Oh the kids!
Oh the waitress!
Oh the drive all night!

Sometimes when you get home,
Some ugly lookin' son-of-a-bitch
Is trying' to pooch yer HOME-TOWN SWEETHEART!

Oh, go ride the bull!
Oh, go ride the bull!
Make it go up 'n down
'N when you fall off,
You can eat the mattress!
TRUCK DRIVER DIVORCE!.
IT'S VERY SAD!
Bust yer ass
To deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
To
UTAH!
 
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06.07.2010
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"Tryin' To Grow A Chin"

"Tryin' To Grow A Chin"


Hey! I'm only fourteen
Sickly 'n' thin
Tried all of my life
Just to grow me a chin
It popped out once
But my dad pushed it in
Why did he hurt me?
He's my next of kin ...
He's a mex-i-kin
I'm lonely'n' green;
Too small for my shirt
If Simmons was here
I could feature my hurt
Scared of the future
Hope I don't grow
I know nobody likes me
'Cause everywhere I go
They say NO
They say NO
They say NO

Now I am older
Got a place in the town, babe
Got a chin on my shoulder
'N' it keeps growing down 'n' down 'n' down
I'm horny 'n' lonely
'N' I wish I was dead
Why am I livin'?
I wanna be dead instead
That's right, I said
I wanna be dead instead
Now dig this:
I wanna be dead
In bed
Please kill me
'Cause that would thrill me
I wanna be dead
In bed
Please kill me
'Cause that would thrill me
[etc. repeat]
 
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"Tuna Fish Promenade"

"Tuna Fish Promenade"



This town
This town
Is a Sealed Tuna Sandwich
Sealed Tuna Sandwich
With the wrapper glued
It's by baloney on the rack
It goes for 40 cents a whack
It's just a place for us to play
To help us pay
The cost of the tickets back to L.A.
The cost of the tickets back to L.A.
The cost of the tickets back to L.A.

All the people in the Sandwich Town
Think the place is great
What if part of it's crumbling down?
Most of them prob'ly won't be 'round . . .

They'll either be dead
Or moved to San Francisco
(Where everybody thinks they're Heavy Business . . .
But it's just a Tuna Sandwich from another catering service . . .)
 
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