Frank Zappa

[fox69]

"Master Ringo"

"Master Ringo"


[Hermann Kretzschmar voice]

Dear PFIQ,
Since you printed my question and photo in issue number 29, PFIQ, I have received many letters.
I'm glad I'm retired so I have plenty of time to answer all.
I finally got rid of the smell
Of the deep scrotum piercings
[mumble]
By putting a 5/32-inches barbell and a 5/16-inches ring.
Now, air can get through.
[laughs]

([FZ:] Can you stand like that?
[Hermann:] Maybe I should read the text one whole, because . . . again . . . oh . . .
[FZ:] Just . . . just say "now, air can get through")

Now, air can get through.
Don't ever quit putting out PFIQ, as it is most enjoy-able.
I have them all
And go over them many times.
You never heard anymore of Carl... Carol, issue n... number 14, I believe?
Keep up the great work. I don't know what to pierce next.

P.S. Do you use 1-percent xylocaine for deep cockhead piercings?
Piercing the head of the cock must be painful.
(OOHH!)
I had the head tattooed and it hurt like hell!
But I didn't want the artist to stop.

 

[fox69]

"Mom & Dad"

"Mom & Dad"



Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls & boys
You'll sit home & drink all night
They looked too weird . . . it served them right

Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls & boys
You'll sit home & drink all night
They looked too weird . . . it served them right

Ever take a minute just to show a real emotion
In between the moisture cream & velvet facial lotion?
Ever tell your kids you're glad that they can think?
Ever say you loved 'em? Ever let 'em watch you drink?
Ever wonder why your daughter looked so sad?
It's such a drag to have to love a plastic Mom & Dad

Mama! Mama!
Your child was killed in the park today
Shot by the cops as she quietly lay
By the side of the creeps she knew . . .
They killed her too.

 

[fox69]

"More Trouble Every Day"

"More Trouble Every Day"



Well I'm about to get sick
From watchin' my TV
Been checkin' out the news
Till my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
(Sure 'nuff!)
And when it's gonna change, my friend
Is anybody's guess (Well!) (Woa!)
So I'm
Watchin' and I'm a-waitin'
I'm hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Wednesday I watched the riot
I seen the cops out on the street
I watched 'em throwin' rocks & stuff & chokin'
In the heat
I listen to reports
'Bout the whisky passin' around
I seen the smoke & fire
And the market burnin' down
I watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp & smash & bash & crash & slash & bust & burn
I'm a-watchin' and I'm a-waitin'
But I'm hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Watchin' and I'm a-waitin'
I'm hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin', oh, yeah . . .

 

[fox69]

"Mother People"

"Mother People"


[includes a fragment from I Don't Know If I Can Go Through This Again from Lumpy Gravy]

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you . . .

Do you think that I'm crazy?
Out of my mind?
Do you think that I creep in the night
And sleep in a phone booth?

Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show,
Think you better know
I'm another person

Do you think that my pants are too tight?
Do you think that I'm creepy?
Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person
Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your fuckin' mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive
If you were alive
Shitty little person?

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Do you think that I love you . . .
Stupid & blind?
Do you think that I dream through the night
Of holding you near me?

Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

 

[fox69]

"Motherly Love"

"Motherly Love"



Motherly love
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love

Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

The Mothers got love
That'll drive ya mad
They're ravin' 'bout the way we do
No need to feel lonely . . .
No need to feel sad,
If we ever get a hold on you
What you need is . . .

Motherly love
(Come on, get it now)
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

Nature's been good
To this here band
Don't ever think we're shy
Send us up some little groupies
And we'll take their hands
And rock 'em till they sweat and cry
What you need is . . .

Motherly love
(Get it now)
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

We can love ya
Till ya have a heart attack
You'd best believe that's true
We'll bite your neck
And scratch your back
Till you don't know what to do
What you need is . . .

Motherly love
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

You know I've got a little motherly love for you baby, yeah
You know I've got a little motherly love for you honey, yeah
You know it doesn't bother me at all
That you're only eighteen years old
'Cause I got a little motherly love for you baby

 

[fox69]

"Motherly Love"

"Motherly Love"



Motherly love
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

The Mothers got love
That'll drive ya mad
They're ravin' 'bout the way we do
No need to feel lonely...
No need to feel sad,
If we ever get a hold on you
What you need is...

Motherly love
(Come on get it now)
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

Nature's been good
To this here band
Don't ever think we're shy
Send us up some little groupies
And we'll take their hands
And rock 'em till they sweat and cry
What you need is...

Motherly love
(Get it now)
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do
We can love ya
Till ya have a heart attack
You'd best believe that's true
We'll bite your neck
And scratch your back
Till you don't know what to do
What you need is...

Motherly love
Motherly love
Forget about
The brotherly and other-ly love
Motherly love
Is just the thing for you
You know your Mothers' gonna love ya
Till ya don't know what to do

You know I've got a little Motherly love for you baby
You know I've got a little Motherly love for you honey
You know it doesn't bother me at all
That you're only 18 years old
'Cause I got a little Motherly love for you baby
Pow pow pow pow

 

[fox69]

"Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt"

"Mount St. Mary's Concert Excerpt"


[FZ:] The next piece that we're going to play . . . Maybe I should tell you what we were doing . . . The, the signals that we are giving, I'll explain to you very simply: This means 'free improvisation' and finger signals told the performers which of the fragments they were to uh, play at any given moment. Anyway, the next piece that we're going to play is in standard notation, and it's actually pretty tame compared to the other five. It's called "The Collage Two," and it was written last Thursday.

 

[fox69]

"Mr. Green Genes"

"Mr. Green Genes"



Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.
Eat a bunch of these
MAGNIFICENT
With sauerkraut
MMMMMMMMMMM
Sauerkraut
Eat a grape, a fig
A crumpet too . . .
You'll pump 'em right through
Doo-wee-ooo

Eat your shoes
Don't forget the strings
And sox
Even eat the box
Your bought 'em in
You can eat the truck
That brought 'em in
Garbage truck
MMMMMMMMMMMMouldy
Garbage truck
Eat the truck & driver
And his gloves
NUTRITIOUSNESS
DELICIOUSNESS
WORTHLESSNESS

 

[fox69]

"Ms. Pinky"

"Ms. Pinky"



I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed
She never talk back like a lady might do
An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through

And her name is
P-I-N-K-Y
P-I-N, no lie
K-Y, me-oh-my
She's $69.95
Give her a try

P-I-N-K-Y
P-I-N I cry
K-Y don't be shy
$69.95, boy
Give her a try

Her eyes is all shut in an ecstasy face
You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place
Throw the little switch on her battery pack
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back

And her name is P-I-N-K-Y
P-I-N, I cry
K-Y, don't be shy
$69.95, boy
Give her a try

I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before I go to bed
She never talk back like a lady might do
An' she looks like she loves it every time I get through

Her eyes is all shut in an ecstasy face
You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place
Throw the little switch on her battery pack
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back

 

[fox69]

"Mudd Club"

"Mudd Club"



Hey, they're really dancin'
They're on auto-destruct
On the floor
On the pipe
Bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really
Tearin' it up
On the side
In the back
By the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy
You can take it from me
I should know
'Cause I go
Every time I'm in town
If you never tried it
Lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place
To unfasten yerself

MUDD CLUB
All the way downtown
MUDD CLUB
They ain't messin' around
Just turn to the left 'n look around
It's there somewhere
If you ain't found it, better
Hurry up
The folks down there's on auto-destruct
And so can you be too
(Fact of the matter it's made for you.. .)
Try it on a Saturday 'bout four o'clock in the mornin'
Or even a Monday at midnight
When there's just a few of them Fabulous Poodles
Doin the Peppermint Twist for real
In black sack dresses with nine inch heels
And then a guy with a blue mohawk comes in
In Serious Leather. ..
(And all the rest of whom for which
To whensonever of partially indeterminate
Bio-chemical degradation
Seek the path to the sudsy yellow nozzle
Of their foaming nocturnal
Parametric digital whole-wheat inter-faith
Geo-thermal terpsichorean ejectamenta)
In Serious Leather. . .Serious Chains
Then they work the wall
'N work the floor
'N work the pipe
'N work the wall some more
In Serious Leather
In Serious Chains
In Serious Clothing
From when they come downtown
From the ruins of Studio 54
To twist 'n frugg
In an arrogant gesture
To the best of what the 20th Century has
to offer, at the MUDD CLUB
Al Malkin's down there now
Looking for a virgin with nice breath...
(Why, maybe it's you. . . And you don't even know it!)

Hey, they're really dancin'
They're on auto-destruct
On the floor
On the pipe
Bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really
Tearin' it up
On the side
In the back
By the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy
You can take it from me
I should know
'Cause I go
Every time I'm in town
If you never tried it
Lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place
To unfasten yerself while you
WORK THE WALL
WORK THE FLOOR
WORK THE PIPE
IN SERIOUS PAIN