Dan Bull

[fox69]

"Hoist The Black Flag"

"Hoist The Black Flag"


Alright, lads
I'm one of the only people who have heard Edward Kenway rap
And live to tell the tale
And now I'm going to tell you exactly what he said
He said:

These aren't the high seas, they're my seas
It's likely you'll find me inciting some maritime crises
Plunder all the prizes from the skies to under water
Thunderballing, then I'm back aboard in time for my tea
Tides are dicey, you're dicing with death
Like a diver fighting to rise for a breath
I'm a tycoon taking lives like a typhoon
Hypothesizing that you're probably dying quite soon
But at least in the meantime you can enjoy listening to my tune
It's an assassin sea shanty, so pass the neat brandy
And raise a glass to my sea-faring vigilantes

Right lads, pack your bags
And come aboard as we hoist the Black Flag
I said right lads, pack your bags
And come aboard as we hoist the Black Flag

Look, I'm a canny one, scourge of the Seven Seas
Sink anyone's galleon to murder my enemies
Whether he's been stabbed in a backstreet
Or a vast sea attack by the Black Flag fleet
Kicking people in the ribs, I leap from ship to ship
And clean the deck of crew as if I'm sweeping, never miss a bit
No need for cruise missiles, I wield dual pistols
And rule this world from Kingston to Bristol
So you better make headway for Edward Kenway
Or I'll hit you hard enough to send you to next Wednesday
I make the hardest seafaring men say
"Get away from this fellow if you treasure your gems"
They say that he ranks amongst the most clever
Of the gentleman adventurers without measure
He spends half his time looking for exotic treasure
And the other half lusting for erotic pleasure

Right lads, pack your bags
And come aboard as we hoist the Black Flag
I said right lads, pack your bags
And come aboard as we hoist the Black Flag

From England to Kingston to New Holland
He's a looting, shooting, Henry fooking Rollins

 

[fox69]

"Home Is Where The Hate Is (Resident Evil 7 Rap)"

"Home Is Where The Hate Is (Resident Evil 7 Rap)"


Ah, greetings, you're right on time
Wipe your feet, you're invited inside
Your arrival is quite a surprise
You're ripe for the ride of your life
Right
Let me take your coat, you're welcome
Have a browse through the photo album
It's only seldom we host any guests
The rest of the family are home, I'll tell them
Come and join us for vittals
It'll satiate those cravings a little
Putsome meat on those brittle bones
We insist, you must have a nibble
It's something we hunted
One for the road
Here's a clue:
It's right under your nose
If you refuse you'll be stunting the growth
Of your welcome to our humble abode
Those lonely country roads
Are so remote
That no one'll know
You're overdue home
There's no bloody phone
No go to you room
Or I'll go for your throat
When you're under my roof
You'll heed my rules
Succumb to my truth
Do I need my tools?
Should I fetch my pliers?
Should I come for your tooth?
It's your fault
I don't want to remove it

Home
Home is where the hate is
Home
Your relatives are waiting
Home
Everyone's related
Home
They who immigrate or natives
Home
Look what we've created
Satanist
Sadist
Home is where the hate is

Where the hate is
Home is where the hate is

Butcher
Baker
Candlestick maker
You can't get away from your animal nature
Try as you might and the anger will take you
Now sample the cake that grandmother's made you
That's a family favorite
Passed through generations of Bakers
Inhabiting the plantation
Eraserhead X Fantasia
It's fun and games, son, let Dad chase you
Here I come
Ready or not
I hear a gun
Bloody belly all shot
Don't you try to pee on my fun
We've barely begun
And there's many more shocks in store for you
But you know that already
Of course you do
Keep both hands steady
Adrenaline, what a hell of a drug
I'm getting a buzz from killing and peeling the skin of a corpse
I'm yearning for more
It isn't enough
'Cause I've seen it before
I've been in a war
Within in my thoughts
The insects are wriggling from under the floor
You're injured, your innards are spilling
There's chunder and gore
And blood on the walls
It's pungent and raw
That's the warm welcome
I give out for someone who comes through my door
And into my home

Home is where the hate is
Home
Your relatives are waiting
Home
Everyone's related
Home
They who immigrate or natives
Home
Look what we've created
Satanist
Sadist
Home is where the hate is

Home is where the hate is

Home is where the hate is

 

[fox69]

"How To Smash Your Mirror"

"How To Smash Your Mirror"


From Brother Ali to Forest Whitaker
When it comes to body image
There's a common myth that we're not bothered with it
But it's bollocks
It'd take a lot of confidence
To stop us wishing at least something was different
You see kids stacked with six packs
Skins tanned and big abs
And think that to fit in then you need to have this crap
I've had enough of airbrushed buff people I see on telly
Where's all the freckles, crooked yellow teeth and beer bellies?
I'm a bit chubby round the edges
Prefer pudding to veggies
In restaurants they say "do you want a side of salad or potato wedges?"
I'll leave you to guess my preference
Insert generic Mr Creosote reference
But I look after myself
Might grab an apple and leave the snacks on the shelf
As well as pizza I eat pasta as well
The human appendix is similar to my gym membership
It rarely ever gets used even when I remember it
Now I'm no exercise freak
But I exercise each week
Even if it's just stepping outside and down the street
I can swim, I can dance, I can skank or ride a bike
It doesn't matter man, variety's the spice of life

Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me
Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me

I thought "please Lord, make me thin"
"Paint my pasty skin"
"Take me out of this funny frame you've placed me in"
My face is ginger while my head hair is mousey brown
But I turned my doubts around
My thoughts are more healthy now
I quit searching for the perfect physique
I'd prefer to be a person that people feel at ease with when first we meet
See, it's not just about how you look when you're out with your friends
It's about whether you are looking out for your friends

Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me
Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me

I'm no Michelangelo's David
My stature isn't classical
Sod a perfect body
Mine's autobiographical
Every flaw, every blemish, every scar
Is a natural tattooed testament to how I got this far
Cosmetics and excrement, I can't detect the difference
Except that the expensive one is what you want to get for Christmas
My head's significantly bigger than average
You'll laugh when you see me getting a hat fitted
It's the massivest
But that's the thing, it's a trivial matter
Except when acceptance happens to be the thing that you're after
Call me an ignorant rapper, spitting the dumbest rhymes
But you can stick your opinion where the sun doesn't shine
And for a chap my bum's more like Nicki's than Miley's
What a kick in the hiney
But so what? My friends think of me highly
Despite my glitches, they think that I'm the nicest guy
We like a bit of variety
It's the spice of life

Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me
Why are you looking at me?
Stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and free
Why are you looking at me?
Man, stuff your physique
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me

Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me
The man I'm confident and comfy to be
Beauty's skin deep, I'd rather be ugly and me
The man I'm confident and comfy to be

 

[fox69]

"I Am The Inquisitor"

"I Am The Inquisitor"


[Verse 1:]
Inquisitor
Ah, hallo, Sire. Shall we travel to the Fallow Mire?
These hallowed grounds face a threat that's hella dire
And I'm telling buyers beware of where you buy your wares
Check their origin like I did when I bought BioWare's
In the Arbor Wilds I hear there's a Fade Rift
And we need to rescue Farmer Giles somewhere near Redcliffe
We're almost at the Storm Coast, Val Royeaux's no more close
I sleep in a tent depending on events otherwise I'm in a bed with four posts
I suppose I had better be fetching my coat
Cause there's some Red Templars in the Western Approach
Oh! The Breach leaves the sky cold up in Skyhold
But I can afford to heat it, see this huge pile of my gold
No influenza, with these treaties I'm an influencer
Think you can beat me? Name a date and place, where and when, sir?
Should I spit ten bars or pages? Support Templars or Mages?
Collect Shards or guess star constellations and arrangements?
Seal rifts shut in Thedas, kick butt and save ass
With great gallantry, level up and upgrade my talent tree
Cause it ain't just hard in Hightown, like a tale that Varric weaves
There's an ancient massive effect, I may as well just save the galaxy

[Hook:]
I am the Inquisitor, a Fade visitor
Zipping up the rifts with a fist is my signature finisher
My team administers me with the means to win imminently
And I may say that they do it magnificently
Once more unto the Breach, dear friends
Once more! Because Corypheus wants war
Once more unto the Breach, dear friends
Once more! We'll see if Corypheus wants more

[Ad-lib:]
We'll see if Corypheus wants more
Or whether he's had enough
He's a bit tired
And now he just wants to go home for tea

[Verse 2:]
I've got the dopest team in Leliana
Josephine, Cullen, Cassandra
Solas, Sera, Blackwall, Dorian
Cole, Vivienne, Varric, Bull, Morrigan
Call us the D A Team: the Dannish Inquisition
Vacancies, apply within if you think you can fill this grand position
Corypheus has delusions of grandeur
A ridiculous man pursuing the Anchor
But hang on, you can pray and thank the maker in the Chantry later
Wait 'til Dan obliterates that manky mangy agitator
Blast this antagonist as if he's had a Dragon's Kiss
Leave him hanging there and haggard like a pair of sagging tits
In comparison I'm an ample and elegant breast
Not an Iron Bull but I am Bull nevertheless, yes!
Yes blud, I'm the Tim Westwood of Crestwood
The Method Man of the Hinterlands, Haven was the best hood
But my terrain ranges from Exalted Plains to Emerald Graves
When I stray there's no limit to who and where I will save
Between Ferelden and Orlais, I seem to be helping them all day
These Orlesians' decor schemes are really well bloody ornate
I've heard the myths but this is divine living
Like when I'm giving a wyvern a whiff of the rhythm
I witness how quick it'll give in
Give them a kick in the face from the Forbidden Oasis
To the Hissing Wastes to paraphrase Sera: this is a pissing disgrace
Damn son, I've had it with Samson
I'm going to get ever so terribly nasty
That's what happens whenever you mess with the Herald of Andraste

[Hook:]
I am the Inquisitor, a Fade visitor
Zipping up the rifts with a fist is my signature finisher
My team administers me with the means to win imminently
And I may say that they do it magnificently
Once more unto the Breach, dear friends
Once more! Because Corypheus wants war
Once more unto the Breach, dear friends
Once more! We'll see if Corypheus wants more

[Outro:]
We'll see if he wants more... once more
Once more...

 

[fox69]

"I Hurt Myself"

"I Hurt Myself"


My name's Daniel, I'm twenty eight and I'm a self harmer
What I'm telling you is real, not just another way to sell drama
Not doing this for karma; tearing, throwing off my armour
There, I'm showing off my scars, I'm bare, I hope I've not alarmed you
The way I retaliate to aggravation and stress
Is to smack myself in the face til my sad face is a mess
Scream my fucking lungs out, gasp, taking a breath
Hit the right pitch, the sound of glass breaking is bliss
But I can't smash the mirror, I'm afraid of broken glass
So I punch the face I see in it, my bones make an open gash
I need a healing potion fast, throw me in the ocean, splash
The lifeboat has capsized, we've no hope and
No man's an island, my contraband is anger, violence
Lower the flag, no aggro, please, I demand silence
Skull and crossbones, swollen cheekbones
Pull the trigger, reload, pull the trigger, reload
See me overdose on friendly fire
No hope 'til I tote a broken nose and I can then retire

Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do

I feel ashamed of what I did now I've returned to clarity
Even though I only hit myself, still it hurt my family
All the things I hate about myself, they may be true or not
It doesn't matter when my face is battered blue and black, with bruises
Don't know what abuse is, why I do this, I'm a loser
A faggot four-eyed freckle-faced fucking waste of space, I've had it
I deserve to be damaged, it's a hurt I can manage
I can take physical pain, it's the words that are savage
My nerves are just ravaged, a small disturbance is all but certain
To cause turbulence and of course they urge me to panic
I'm scared of blood but never backed down from a brawl
Stand up for myself, never sat down on the wall
I'll go toe to toe until I'm passed out on the floor
One of us is going to hospital, that's how much I'm raw

Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you made me do

 

[fox69]

"I Lead The League Of Legends"

"I Lead The League Of Legends"


Hey ho!
Let me take over and amaze those couch potatoes
As I slay foes who stray close to my caseload of great flows
Every moment I make goes straight to the Summoner showcase
Most played so they know me as the Great Bull
You're a scapegoat
Your opinion's nothing to me
I'm running Dominion
Buffin' my speed
And some of the Summoners comin' at me
Are just gonna be meat to increase my sum of XP
I'm brilliant killin' a million minions a minute until
I've diminished your kingdom
You're finished
You're fish fillets
Your tower is under attack
I'm the Tienanmen Square man
You're vanishing under my tank
My champions dismantlin' your Pantheon and gankin' 'em
He's leavin' them bleedin' and needin' immediate
Treatment from an ambulance
And when it comes to spells
I'm bettin' you can't even spell "Chrysanthemums"

I lead the League of Legends
You idiots need protection
My collection increases weekly
Till I reach perfection
I lead the League of Legends
You idiots need protection
My collection increases weekly
Till I reach perfection

I fire fireballs
At the Riot Store
Champions? I try 'em all
And level them up into higher forms
Till my enemies look at the eye of the storm
I'm takin' aim and rainin' pain again, again you're slain
To explain my brain's a strain
But it's safe to say I remain insane
I lay in wait beneath the shrubberies and jungle leaves
Comin' from the trees to plunder everythin' but your dungarees
My hunger needs feedin'
I feast on feeble underlings
And leave them wondering whether it's thunder or my tummy rumbling
And now I'm within your perimeter
Administerin' your distributor
With a particularly vicious and pitiless kick in the
Knickers until it gives in to testicular sickness
My method's meticulous
This record's ridiculous
I'm a carnivorous sinister villainous killer
You're just a little wuss

I lead the League of Legends
You idiots need protection
My collection increases weekly
Till I reach perfection
I lead the League of Legends
You idiots need protection
My collection increases weekly
Till I reach perfection

I'm brutal
I lack scruples
So any defence is actually futile
I'll never attend a tribunal
Till everythin' ends and it's my funeral
I've got rooms full of Runes
It's not just hot tunes I produce
With lots of vitality, clarity, avarice, malice, alacrity
It's a laugh to see you after me and my masteries
What's that you tryin' to cast at me?
I'm cleansin' anythin' men have attempted to send in my path you see?
These legendary staffs and blades
Will send a competitor back to base
My most regular WAV that's played?
"An enemy has been slain"

 

[fox69]

"I Love Kanye"

"I Love Kanye"


I love Kanye

 

[fox69]

"I Wanna Put My Willy In GTA V"

"I Wanna Put My Willy In GTA V"


I hopped onto the net today
Saw a link to the trailer for GTA
So straight away I pressed play
In wait to be blown away
I saw a couple walk
Through the mist on the beach
The pink light blissfully sweet
You could instantly see
The emission of heat
The sand on your feet
And wind from the sea
Joggers run past on the promenade
Then the camera pans up long and hard
There's no mistakin' it
From the palms in the valley
We're in L.A.

GTA: San Andreas
A familiar name to the badass players
But as beautiful as it is
It could use a couple of clips
Of gore galore
A smorgasbord of footage
Of Bloods and Crips
Popping some clips
That was one of the best things
Hey, is that Carlton
From The Fresh Prince?
Loads of peeps on the hard streets
But no sign of a car thief
My God, I hope I get to actually
Drive a wind turbine
Sweet!

I couldn't give a fuck for a crop duster
I want to hit a cop
With a knuckle duster
Don't psychoanalyze me
In real life, I'm quite nice, see?
I see Tai Chi and exterminators
Have replaced Hot Coffee like a percolator
Not rock climbing and a driving range
Let's see more signs of guys in pain
I want an overload of action shots
Those moments happen lots
And are why we play GTA
Everyday and simply cannot stop

Hahaha!
Grand Theft Auto V
Grand Theft Auto V
Oh, isn't it exciting?

 

[fox69]

"I'm Fine"

"I'm Fine"


I've fallen in love with someone unexpected
Spend all of my money on her
Until there's nothing left
And at the end of the day she waits at the corner shop
And lets me pop to fetch her
I guess that it's a ritual now
I'm addicted to how she's got me breathless
Ever since that first cool kiss
It's bliss

I appear to be in love
With someone I never dreamed of

A lot of us have a soft spot for coffee
Well my one stop shop for pop is the offy
Knocking back bottles is my hobby, so what?
What the fuck would I want to be stopping for?
I lock my door, tip the bottle and pour
Finish off all the port, and still I'm wanting more
With a beer put beside me I come alive
I feel that my mind loosens up and thrives
And such delightful stuff that lights up my rubbish life
Is something quite tough to give up imbibing
There's nothing like it, drunken nights in a pub
Or drunken nights in with nine tins
If drinking was a drinking game, I'd win
Then wish to play best of five
Then best of the rest of the night
'til I'm a mess of a sight
But having an excellent time
For the rest of my life I swear

[Hook:]
In the loneliest of nights
Yeah I'm alright
In the loneliest of times
I'm fine

Let me see, the bottom of a bottle is the lens
On which I've come to depend to let me see
I look at my friends that are ahead of me
I'm not going to pretend there's no jealousy
I was full of potential for fun and adventures
But somehow the fun's now come to an end, look:
Rewind back - as a lad I saw drunks
And thought that I would never be like that
Now I see people look at me like that
And it seems like we wind the thing right back
I see my past, see my path
And I see the spot where I wandered off life's beaten track
But even that won't sober me up, I'll go to the pub
And swallow my pride til I'm throwing it up
Is it the lowest I've sunk of all time?
I don't know, and I don't give a fuck, look, I'm fine

[Hook]

 

[fox69]

"I'm Going To Be A Daddy"

"I'm Going To Be A Daddy"


When she showed me the pregnancy test, I felt numb
I thought these things were supposed to tell the facts
Howcome we got this outcome?
They're meant to be 99.9% accurate, but now I doubt them
I thought maybe one day I may want a baby
But not here, not now, what, are you crazy?
It's too soon, I'm too stupid to build a human nest
I'm a man child hiding in the shadow of my student debts
We always used protection, at least to my recollection
Well, I guess this is another new regret for my collection
And I won't kill a fetus even if it's millimetres
If I'm big enough to spill a seed
Then I'm big enough to let it breathe
A fellow creature, full of genes of each of us
We're big enough to bring it up and let it develop features
Left speechless
But my ears hurt even when I hear tiny noises
How am I going to deal with each night of crying high-pitched voices?
When they're in pain, there's no way to make them say it softly
I'm good with kids as long as someone can take them off me
And what'll remain of a relationship that's already strained?
The love that's left is drained and plumbed into a baby's veins
And what if this isn't the right relationship to stay with?
At this stage in the day it may just be too late to change it

I'm going to be be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified
I'm going to throw up and there's nowhere I can ever hide
I want to stop, I want to wake up and get off this ride
I'm going to be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified

My life is rather good, it's not time for fatherhood
Looking after cats is hard enough, I can't give up my livelihood
I can't be a role model, my own soul's swaddled
My train of thought's like a pram rolling on old cobbles
How can I change the habit of a lifetime, I'm a lazy chappy
Change that? I've never had to change a baby's nappy
Don't want to watch the Tweenies on the TV
I like cult classic black and white cinema, fuck CBeebies
I don't have a choice any more
I don't have a voice any more
Can't make noise any more
I can't have a bottle of brandy and a LAN party with the boys any more
The way I want to steer the ship and the way it heads's all different
The game of life's flipped from single player to a co-op escort mission
How can I provide enough safety and security
When it feels like it's the whole world versus her and me?
Poland versus Germany, east versus west
Earth's eating itself, while I've invited you to be its guest
What can I bring to the table? I'm not mentally stable
But they say parenting's innate and we're all meant to be able
But what if it's I'll, what it's disabled, what if it's not mine?
What if it dies, what if it grows up to be a horrible little gobshite
What if it hates me? What if it's not just one kid
What if it listens to this song and feels unwanted

I'm going to be be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified
I'm going to throw up and there's nowhere I can ever hide
I want to stop, I want to wake up and get off this ride
I'm going to be a daddy and I'm fucking terrified

I hope I can be helpful during the birth
Providing backup for the mother of the youngest of the children of earth
When it's eighteen, I'll be forty-eight
When it's forty-eight, I'll be seventy-eight
And when it's seventy-eight, I should be dead in the grave
Or in my place waiting at the heavenly gate
Every day, a memory fades except for some strange cases
Like when I'm travelling back to the past and wondering whether to change places
When she showed me the pregnancy test, I felt numb
But now I've settled down I've got one message:
Welcome

I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy
I'm going to be be a daddy