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"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 9)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 9)"

He looks around the kitchen, and says 'something is really weird',
She says 'why do you say that?' He says 'cos you keep tryin' to get me outta here',
He says 'ever since I been in this house your face has went from white to red
and remember when I first walked through the door you acted like you had seen a ghost from the dead'

Then he says 'girl if you hidin' something i'm gonna be so mad', then he hears
something fallin he says ' what the fuck was that?'
She says ' it sound like it came from upstairs, sounds like the plumbing',
He said 'woman that sound did not come from upstairs, i'll be damned if you're not up to something,

The sound that i just heard, it came from this kitchen, and then he looks over by the stove
while shes easin' over by the dishes. and then he walks over to the refridgerator and pushes it back,
and then he looks in her face, looks like shes about to have a heart-attack, then he notices the pie on the counter
One slice is missing, now the stories gettin' scary, cos he comes to realise that Bridget is allergic to cherry.

Then he slowly looks up at her and now her face is red as hell, he's breathing real hard,
movin' closer, she says 'hon you don't look so well'
And then he says move
She says no
He says move
She says no
BITCH MOVE!!! she moves, and then, he looks at the cabinet,
he walks to the cabinet, he's close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a MIDGET!
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 10)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 10)"

Now the midget jumps outta the cabinet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on 1 leg screamin "son of bitch" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin
real fast screamin out bridget,bridget ,
"She yells darlin don't hurt em'"
He says bridget get yo' ass back...then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack...
Then bridget runs up to her room, goes in her purse and pulls a number out...
The police puts him on the table and yells "Man, what the hell you doin' in my house?!"
He whips cherry pie crust off his mouth and says man, i was paid not to tell you
Then the police pulls his gun out and yells trespassin man I got the right to shoot you..
The midget says mr. the man that pay me to this would kill me if i tell
He points the gun in his face, the midget say ''god i think i just shited on myself''
Now at Sylvester's house Twon gotta patch on his shoulder playin cards gettin alone
There laughing and talking when Sylvester says Gwendolyn, baby, get the phone
Then she walks away from the table picks it up and say "hello" there's a lady on the other line panic-n-
cryin and talkin all offf the wall,
Gwen says wait slow down, who am i talkin tooo
"My names bridget and i found your number in my husband's pocket, I had to call you"
2mins later Gwen shakin her head sayin girl i understand, Sylvester says who is it baby?
She hangs up and gives him the address,
Now meanwhile back at the policemen house the midget cryin his ass off while he lyin threw his teeth bout
to get lil ass told off,
Then bridget bust in the kitchen with a double barrow sayin "james i can't let you do this"
Then he looks at her and says what? you shoot me for this
fuckin midget she says "I love him"

Now bridget and james stairin each other down slowly backin apart..then the midget takes his inhaler out
and says this is not good for my heart,
Then james says bridget don't make me do this baby put the gun down...thats when Sylvester and Twon
busted up in the house... and says you put the gun down..whoo while Twon & Sylvester sniffen around...
tryina firgure out whats that smell...as they turn and look at each other like whaaat the...hell.....?
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 11)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 11)"

Now the midget begain to wake up cause he fainted from all the maddest...he see 3 guns pointed around the room he stand and says I have nothing to do
with this...,then I said hold up you look familler..do I know you from somewhere?,then he says man i get around..you might know my face from here or there
''Then james says take a good look cause you might not ever see his face again...''
Twon says man what the hell is that smell? s-nnn...somebody then broke wind!and then bridget start cryin while she lookin around,I said im sure we can
work this out but first lets put the guns down...then bridget crys
"james first" then he said no you go!,then I say just do it the sametime and they both look at me and said no!
And then Twon says man let me shoot'em all, ''and I said we can't do that'' and beside man you just got out of prison and i'll be damn if you going
back...then bridget says "I'll would drop the gun if he promise not to hurt ''big man'',then james says thats what you call-em- (ahh)thats his name big
man! then Twon says man is that ya' name?he yells yea!we laught hot mess, then I say man why they call you that?and said ''because im bless''...
Then I start shakin my head put the gun down sayin this is to much for me!said I cant take no' more then heard it all this shit bout to drive me
crazy...and then I say man I shouldn't never took my ass to the par'jays club...
Then big man says par'jays..I been there that probally where you know me from,then james says hey hey Chuck and Rufus lets get back to the matter of
hand,then Sylvester says cool but first there just 1thing I gotta understand...james says ''whaaat''?,
Then Sylvester says how do you know Chuck and Rufus?and police says spss..what you talkin bout man?
You said Chuck and Rufus..then bridget says "hun my stomach" then Twon says who the hell is Chuck and Rufus?...pointed my gun and said talk to me
james..I said Rufus, Chuck? then bridget says "ima bout throw-up-"
James says my wife is sick..Twon says ''man don't believe that shit''... I said how did ya' wife get sick?...
He says she 3months pernacy!then we all said ooo shit!,
Then bridget says "honey thurrs something I have to tell ya",then james says no baby you don't have to say a word right now...then says "but
james"..then he says rest bridget while I get these fools up out my house...pointed the gun at us and yells leave...said my wife is sick..then Twon look
at him and said muthafucka you crazy..watch where you point that shit!...then bridget says "james nooo"...Sylvester gets a phone call...its Gwendolyn
askin him is everything ok...and he says hell naw! he hangs up.. then big man says look man im just a stripper... I say stripper?Twon says a midget... he
says I strip at this club called dixie and that is where I meet bridget...,Bridget says james he says not now..she says "hun please let me explain"...then
Twon whisper in my ear and says Sylvester let me do this nigga james...then Big man over hear us and takes his inhaler again..then I said im not killin no
cop...james movin closer to them with the gun..then bridget yellin stop,stop,stop and then she says "I admitted, I did it , I paid em'"...then james cuts
her off and says baby you don't have to say nothing...,then she says no "james I think you need to hear this"..."see I been coverin for you a long time..
never said what was on my mind...I even follow you a few times...and when I say you with her you act like I was blind"..james says wait a minute bridget
just what are you tryin tell me?..."not only im I sleepin with big man but hes my baby's daddy,...whoooo the midget faints again...while Twon in Sylvester
is trippin...the midget is the baby's.....daddy....whoo
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 12)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 12)"

Now lets jump back to Cathy's house..they getting up off the floor...then Rufus says Chuck are you ok?
Then Cathy close the door..then Chucks says Rufus what the hell just happend?Rufus says I tell ya...
She just almost got us shot right here in this room...then Cathy says you got nerd almost got you shot when
you snicking en' and outta hotels with him aint tellin what I got...then Chucks says what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says firgure it out!...he says whooo Rufus she don't know me I'll would cut this bitch right now,Whoo!...Come and try it
muthafucka...I swear! just try it...fuck you hoe!I swear just try it! let me at uh..
Come on bitch!...try it..muthafucka Rufus let me go!....I swear the god try it...''Come On'',try it, bitch come on...
Come the fuck down!Rufus says...Rufus says Chuck with talk bout later...then Cathy says this shit is sad...
Then Rufus says it is what is Cathy we might'est well talk bout it...and try to get some understanding...she says understand shit.. I dout it...they
talkin loud while phones ringin,ringin,ringin,ringin but no one answer.... just ignores it.. Rufus says I said come down...you both actin like damn
fools!..wife and a pastor and a deccan now how would that look in the news? Cathy says a wife and pastor looks good on the news..then looks at Chuck and
says but a pastor and a deccan Rufus you don't wont me to ansnwer you...at then Chuck yells bitch who do you think you are? I got a right to love who ever
I please...then Cathy says if you don't get yo narrow ass out my house cause hoe this who ever belongs to me...and then Rufus nobody going no where...til'
we firgure this out we all just be right here...and then Cathy and Chuck wont stop stairing at each other...Cathy snocks..her nose up and him..Chucks
rolls his eyes at her...then phones rings again..(ringin,ringin,ringin) but this time
Cathy walks over and answer it..says hello longs resident...Cathy this Gwendolyn can you talk?Cathy says
im in the middle of something not now... Gwendolyn says girl this can't wait please get somewhere quick to yourself right now...then Cathy says hurry im
listen shoot...Gwen says ok..I'll make it quick girl remember the policemen you introduce me to?she says yea...what uh bout em'?anyway girl shit was tight
until this morning everthing went wrong! Chuck looks at Rufus and says what the hell? he says I don't know...she says damn'it im on the phone..
She says go hell Gwen...Gwen says well it all started at this club that I was at last night..(ummm)girl me and
james sittin up back vip everthing was so right (ummm gon' on)! well me and james sittin there laughten and drinkin next thing you know here comes
Sylvester up in there with some crusty wig wearing ass hoe...Cathy
looks at the wig on the floor she says girl whats the name of that club...Gwen says par'jays she flops down
on the bed...like what the fuck?then Cathy says Gwendolyn...Gwendolyn says girl im not finish then she start
tellin her bout the policemen wife Bridget who was gettin down with this midget...then Cathy says Gwendolyn
girl listen but Gwendolyn going on and on she steady tryin get her tension but Gwen steady going on and on
Then Rufus scream Cathy are we gon' finiish this conversation or what?and Cathy says Rufus im on the phone
Then Rufus says ''bitch I don't give a fuck''...then Cathy says Gwendolyn shut up girl damn..just listen to me
you know that crusty wearin hoe that you was talkin about...Gwen says uh uh..Cathy says well...Gwen says well..well what? Cathy says girl...Gwen says
Cathy...Cathy say Gwen im sorry girl but that hoe was me....
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 13)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 13)"

Come and take a walk with me
Through the streets of Chi-Town
Let's look back
And reminisce on all of the shit that went down

Pastor Rufus Longs comes home to find his wife been sleepin' around with Sylvester (Oh, shit)
Sylvester's cell phone rings; he comes outta the closet pointin' his Beretta (Oh, shit)
Then they go through this thing: arguing, fussing, then time goes by
And then Cathy finds out about Rufus' lover Chuck, the gay guy (Oh, shit)
And then Sylvester calls home, never knowing that a man would answer his phone (Oh, shit)

Then he got to his house; bust up in it
To find his wife, Gwendolyn
She was fuckin' around with this sausage-head-assed policeman
And then they got into a fight (Oh, shit)
Wrestlin' over a gun (Oh, shit)
And Gwen screamin' "Stop!!" Next thing you know,
They shot her brother Twan (Oh, shit)
It was just a lick; he was barely hurt
Now here comes Rose, the nosy neighbor
She thinks she's the neighborhood Savior

And then things got real twisted (Oh, shit)
Police got home in his kitchen (Oh, shit)
To find his wife Bridget (Oh, shit)
Is pregnant by this midget
Well, so far, that's how the story goes
And now it's time to continue on
So get ready:
Here is chapter 13...

Sylvester and Twan get in a car; Sylvester says, "Man, first of all, straighten yo hat.
Now, man, I'm about to go holla at somebody, and I'mma need you to watch my back."
Then Twan says, "Man, you ain't even gotta worry 'bout me, bra-lou, I'm straight."
Sylvester says, "Yeah, you straight, a'ight, witcha hot-headed ass, nigga, just like when you caught that case."
Twan says, "Aw, here we go, you bringin' that shit up. That wasn't shit but a misdemeanor."
Sylvester says, "Misdemeanor, my ass. You did three years."
Twan says, "Yeah, that was because of Roxanne and that bitch, Tina."

"Man...yo sister asked me about a Tina."
Twan says, "When I see her, I'mma kill her. What did Gwen ask you?"
"She asked me if I knew her; I said she sound familiar."
Sylvester says, "Hold up. Man, what you doin'?"
And then Twan says, "Man, what you mean?"
Then Sylvester says, "Man, is that a cigarette?"
Twan says, "Man, nah. This some weed."
Sylvester pulled (Whoo) over, sayin', "Aw, HELL naw."
"Nigga, what the--?"
"You forget where we are?"
Twan say, "One for the road."
Sylvester say, "You crazier than a fish with titties if you think I'mma let you smoke that shit up in my car. Now throw that shit out."
Twan looks at Sylvester like he ain't tryin' to hear that
Sylvester says, "Throw that shit out."
Twan looks around and say, "Shit," and throws it out

They pull off and Sylvester says, "Now this Roxanne and Tina, man, what's that all about?"
Now, while they talk about that, let's head on over to Rosie the nosy neighbor's house
She's peekin' out her window, sayin', "There's somethin' goin' on over there with Bernadine and Ted."
Then her husband turns over and says, "Woman, what's wrong with you? Bring yo old, nosy ass back to bed."
She says, "Now, Randolph, I don't like that tone you takin' with me."
He says, "Oh, shut up, woman; you always invokin', get on folk, they privacy."
Rosie says, "I can look out my God-damned window whenever I want."
Randolph say, "Yeah? Well, what you lookin' at? What you lookin' at? Hmm?"

Now Rosie and Randolph are arguin', screamin' at each other loud as they can
Rosie says, "Randolph, ain't nobody studdin' you, so go on back to sleep with yo old, grumpy ass."
Then Randolph say, "Shut yo ass up, woman! Shit! Folk gotta get some sleep around here."
Then Rosie say, "Sleep? Shit! Mr. Can't-Get-It-Up, yo tired ass been sleep for the last five years!"
"Now, watch yo mouth, woman!"
"Go to Hell, Randolph! You don't tell me what to do!"
("Can't nobody tell you nothin'! Yeah? Yeah?")
"I'm a grown-ass woman; I can do whatever the hell I want to do."
"Well, do it, then."
"I'mma do it, then."
"Do it, then."
"I'mma do it, then."
"Go on, look."
"I'mma look."
"And I hope a pigeon fly by here and shit on yo face."
(Rosie gasps)
"Oh, Lord, forgive me for what I have said; this woman got..."
"If it do--if it do--then I'm gonna wipe the shit on you!"

Now meanwhile, between-while, back to Sylvester and Twan
They drivin' along when Twan says, "So, man, where we goin'?"
Sylvester says, "Man, don't worry about that; just be on the lookout, and Twan?
Yo hat."
"Oh, my bad."
"Gimme a light."
(The lighter is handed over)
"Now, when we pull up, you keep the car in drive and whatever you do, keep on watchin'."
"Man, like I said before, don't trip, bra-lau, go handle yo business."

"Now, I'm about to see if I can get this bitch to talk to me. We made a deal and she owes me some money."
"Man, I feel you, G, so call me if you need me."
"Man, everything should go smooth."
"Sylvester, don't make me have to come up in there and smack me a couple of--"
(Time goes by...) It's thirty minutes later
(Time goes by...) Forty-five minutes later
(Time goes by...) And now one hour later...
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 14)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 14)"

A car pulls up to a restaurant
The door opens and someone gets out
First thing you see is some heels and a dress
Black shades on scarf around her head and mouth
Who could it be? Why are they here?
Up the stairs they're goin'
Through the door, down the aisle
Like she's walkin' in slow motion

Checkin' out the place
And she walks lookin' real cool
Peepin' out through her glasses
Before she sits in the booth
She goes in her purse; pull a cigarette out
Puts it in her mouth; he lights it
Then she blows smoke, pause for a minute
And says, "What the hell happened?!"

"First of all, woman, keep your voice down.
I ain't tryin' to get loud up in here.
Second of all, how was I 'posed to know
That your husband was a fuckin' queer?"
"Shh!" The waitress walks by
She says, "I'll be with y'all in a minute."

"Now, we made a deal. The plan was for me
To come home with you. Girl, I did my part.
So don't you go askin' me what the hell happened
When I didn't wanna do this shit from the start."
And then she said, "Yeah, right.
You didn't wanna do this shit, but yo ass got paid."
And then she said, "Sylvester--" I said, "Hold up, bitch.
Are you crazy? Don't be sayin' my name."

She said, "Whatever. How come you didn't tell me
You was married to Gwen?"
"First of all, between the fake wigs and fake names,
How the hell I'm supposed to know that Gwen is yo friend, bitch?"
"Shh! Here comes the waitress again."

"Sorry I kept y'all waiting.
Child, this place is busy.
It's always crowded about this time.
Can I start y'all off with something to drink?"
I said, "I'll just have a coffee
With two sugars, light on the cream."
She said, "Vodka, straight up.
Hell...Shit, I need a drink."

Then the waitress said, "Girl, I heard that.
I'll be right back with your drinks."
And then she walks away ; I look back at her
And says, "She looked familiar to me..."
Then she says, "What?" I say,
"Nothin'. It's just a thought.
Anyway, girl, I thought the plan was for me
To be in that house with you and get caught?"

She says, "It was." I said, "What ha--?"
She said, "I changed my mind."
I blew smoke, then I put my cigar out
Said, "I'm out this motherfucker, 'cause you wastin' my time."
She says, "Wait, don't go."
"Well, then, god-damn it, talk to me."
She says, "You wouldn't understand..." [starts crying]
"...Try me."
"Try me." She blows her nose and says,

"Well, it all started one night
When I was sittin' in the livin' room,
And sounds like I could hear somebody
In the bedroom, moanin' and groanin',
And I knew it wasn't me,
So my curiosity
Led me to believe
That he was cheatin' on me."

"Well, how come you just didn't ask him?
Give him the benefit of the doubt?"
"Because a woman knows.
A woman just knows when some shit is foul."
And then I said, "Calm down.
Here comes the waitress."
"Mmm, like I said, it's busy around this time,
But thank y'all for bein' patient."
Said, "Can I get y'all anything else?"
I said, "No, that'll be all."
Then Cathy says, "Sylvester--" He says, "Hold on,"
'Cause he's gettin' another phone call

It's Twan sayin, "Everything a'ight?"
Then Sylvester says, "We workin' it out."
Then Twan says, "Well, call me if you need me, dawg.
You know I'm holdin' you down." And I said,"No doubt."
I hang up, then Cathy says,
"Well, lemme get back to tellin' you what went wrong.
Where was I? Oh, yeah,
The day I heard him arguing on the phone."

Now the story goes on and on
And she tellin' him everything that happened
While Twan's outside in the car
Radio on, boppin' his head, just rappin'
Sylvester said, "Girl, are you sayin' he was havin' sex
With another man on the phone?"
She says, "Yes." I say, "I can't talk about this."
She says, "Why?" I say, "'Cause this shit is getting uncomfortable."

Now, back to Twan; he turns the radio down
'Cause he gets a call
He says, "Yeah, what up?" And a voice says,"Yo, G,
I got that information on Tina." He says, "Talk to me, dawg."
"Well, the word out on the street is the bitch has stopped hoein';
Doin' head outta her mama's basement and got a job." [chuckles]
"Ha-ha is right. The day that bitch stop hoein'
Is the day they stop sellin' dots. ("Heh-heh.")
You feel me, Joe?" "Word."
"Where the bitch work at, a candy store?"
"Naw, the job that she got's supposed to be legit.
I heard your girl all found some ol' waitress shit."
"Yeah? Waitress, where?" "Hold on, I'm waitin' on my people to hit me;
Roxanne and T own the place." "You shittin' me.
Where this place at?" He says, "Hold up,
I'm gettin' a phone call."

Now, meanwhile, Sylvester's askin' Cathy,
"Well, why you still love him?"
Then Cathy says, "When I saw Chuck,
I just couldn't lose him to him."
And then the waitress comes again
But this time she brings the bill
Slides her a $50, says, "Keep the change."
She says, "Damn, thanks. Shit, y'all, keep it real."

And meanwhile, outside in the car,
Twan's getting impatient; his homie comes back to the phone
Twan says, "Do I look like En Vogue?
He says, "Why?" Says, "Nigga, 'cause the way you got me holdin' on."
"I gotcha, dawg. I got where the bitch work, live, information and all."
"Yeah. Nigga, I'm listenin'." "Well, nigga, first of all,
You gotta keep me down, 'cause I went through a lotta crazy shit to find her." "Yeah, whatever, I got you."
"Moved in with some nigga in the Jeffrey Manor,
It's 'round the corner, it's a place called Shay-Shay's Diner."
"Nigga, you forget I just did three years.
I need the exact address to where this place is."
"My bad, you right, kid. 9501, that's right off Hallstid."
Pause it right there
Now shoot back into the restaurant real quick

Sylvester looks up at the waitress and says,
"Excuse me, but it seems like I know you."
And at the same time, Twan's in the car, going,
"Man, this address sounds familiar..."
Meanwhile, in the restaurant, the waitress blows a bubble and says,
"Where you know me from?"
Twan's homie gives him the name of the place again
He looks up at the sign and says, "What the fuck...?"
And meanwhile, back in the restaurant,
Cathy's nudgin' me under the table, goin', "Sylvester..."
And Sylvester looks at the name tag on her shirt
And noticed that shit says, "Tina"

Then, the waitress starts backin' up
With this confused look on her face
While Twan's outside on the phone, tellin' his homie,
"Man, I'm right outside of the fuckin' place!"
Then Sylvester says, "Hold up.
I just wanna talk to you for a minute."
Then she starts screamin' Roxanne's name real loud (Roxanne! Roxanne!)
This bitch comes runnin' from the back with a skillet
Then Tina breaks a beer bottle on the table
And says, "Nigga, I will cut you with this glass!"
Cathy walks by me, goin' out the door, sayin',
"Not tryin' to get loud in here, my ass!"
Tina starts warmin' around Sylvester, sayin',
"We take Tae Bo classes!"
Then Twan runs up in the place and says,
"I will kill both of y'all knucklehead asses!"
([Echoing] Asses!...asses!...asses...asses...)
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 15)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 15)"

"Well, well, well.
If it ain't Laverne and Shirley."
Tina says, "Hey, Twan." Twan says,
"Bitch, don't 'Hey, Twan' me."
Sylvester says, "Calm down, T." He says, "Fuck that;
I just did three years for these hos."
Roxanne says, "Who you callin' a ho?!" He says, "You, bitch!"
She lost control and said, "Motherfucker, I'll kill yo ass!"

"Stop--" "What?!" ("Wait a minute.")"Come on!!"
"With a skillet?" ("Let's talk about it.") "Damned right!"
"Bitch, I--"("Before some-motherfuckin'-body gets hurt.") "Jump, nigga!"
"Man--" ("T, stop--") "Fuck that!"
"Wait a minute!
Nigga, think about it!"
"Three years!!"
"Three years; this time'll be worse!
Now come here."

Sylvester takes Twan to the side
Tina tells Roxanne to calm down
Then Sylvester says to Twan,
"Look...Now, I know you mad,
But before you go around here makin' threats,
Nigga, let's not forget the fact that you're out,
But you're still on house arrest."

Then Twan says, "Cool, man. I just wanna ask them
Some questions about what happened."
Sylvester said, "I feel you, but calm yo ass down,
Or nigga, you goin' back in."
Twan says, "I got you." "House arrest!"
"I got you, I got you." "T...
Then Twan walks over to them and says,

"How you doin', ladies?
Tina, Roxanne, please excuse me.
I mean, where's my manners?
'Cause, uh, that was very rude of me."
"Twan--" "Naw, I admit
The way I came up in here, man, it was kinda wild.
But that ain't shit compared to the way things gonna go ("Twan--")
If THESE bitches don't tell me what went down!"

("Yeah, nigga!") "Listen, motherfucker, slow your roll!
Calm down, nigga; stop this shit!" ("Come on!")
"Sylvester, fuck that! All because of these bitches,
My ass got set up on a three-year bid!" ("Come on, motherfucker!")
"What you gonna do, nigga, kill these bitches?!" "Yeah!"
"And then what?! Then what?!
LIFE, nigga!
They'll lock yo ass up and throw away the key."

Then Twan starts thinkin' about it
While Tina and Roxanne's watchin' him
And I say, "Man, forget about it." He says, "No."
I say, "Well, let me talk to them."
He say, "They slick-ass, man, you can't trust 'em."
"Nigga, it ain't about me trustin' them,
It's about you trustin' me right now."

"Nigga, what's wrong with you? Are you crazy?
You forgot I did five years in the pen myself.
Now, I'm tellin' you, I'm not goin' back for you,
these bitches, or no-motherfuckin'-body else.
So lemme talk to 'em.
I got this."
Sylvester takes out his gun and shows it to the ladies,
Walks up to 'em and says,

"Now, ladies."
He takes the cigarette out of Roxanne's ear
And says, "Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies."
He walks over to the counter and sits down
He puts the gun on the counter, goes into his pocket
And pull a cigarette lighter out
And then he lights the cigarette
Blows smoke, and then says,

"Now, ladies, it's very obvious
That we have a problem here.
A lot of questions unanswered.
Let's answer them so we can get out of here.
Mmm... [blows smoke]
Safe, that is."
He flicks the ashes and says, "OK.
Which one of y'all gonna start talkin' first?"

Then Tina start cryin', sayin',
"It was supposed to be a simple operation."
And Roxanne said, "If we delivered,
Muscle Man here said it would be a vacation."
Twan says, "Man, I'll show you a vacation; ("Twan--")
I'll send y'all ass straight to the motherfuckin' moon!"
"Twan! What did I tell you?
Ladies, continue."

Then Roxanne said,
"On the way to Atlanta, everything was goin' smooth,
Up until Twan start smokin' trees
And actin' like a fool. ("What are you doin'?")
And that's real. He got the radio loud,
Bumpin' Mary Jane, just swervin' and shit."
"Did you tell him to stop?" "Yeah, I told him to stop, ("Stop!")
But he just kept yelling out to me, "Nah, I'm Rick James, bitch!"

Sylvester looks at Twan
Twan says, "Man, I was drunk!"
Sylvester said, "Drunk?!
You was drunk?!" Twan says,
"Man, I don't know; I was just tryin' to have a little fun."
"With a whole lotta heat in the trunk?!
Man, I'm disgusted.
Nigga, no wonder yo ass got busted."

Then Twan says, "Man, whose side
Are you on anyway?! Theirs?!"
Then Sylvester said, "Well, let's see...Reckless endangerment,
Loud music with drugs in the trunk? Nigga, yeah!"
Twan say, "Man, this some bullshit!"
Roxanne says, "Can I finish?!"
"Please," Sylvester says
She says, "Well, to make a long story short--"

Tina says, "Roxanne,
Girl, let me explain.
See, Twan was kinda actin' wild
And callin us all loud names.
Then Roxanne starts cursin' and screamin'.
Meanwhile I'm in the backseat,
And all I know is I looked behind me.
I said, 'Oh, shit! Here comes the police!'"

Roxanne said, "Next thing you know, Twan started speedin',
Yellin' out, 'They ain't gonna stop us!'"
Tina says, "A few minutes later, here come these squad cars
And a fuckin' helicopter."
Sylvester said, "Did he stop then?"
Tina says, "No."
Roxanne says, "But luckily, that raggedy-ass car he was drivin'
Stopped on us, or we'd be who knows."

Then Roxanne says, "Anyway, here we are,
The Three fuckin' Stooges laid out in the dirt.
Now they puttin' us in the back of the car, Twan yellin' out,
'Whatever y'all do, don't say a fuckin' word!'
And now we at the police station.
They got us separated off up in these rooms.
Yellin' all in our ears, sayin',
'Yo man try and say these drugs belonged to you.'

And I'm like, 'What the fuck?!' They say,
'Sister, yo light is lookin' kinda dim.'
I looked up at Tina and said,
'Girl, I'm not goin' down, not for him!'
So there you have it, Twan.
I gave you up; it was me.
Tina, she protected you." Twan said, "Protected me for what?!"
Tina said, "'Cause at the time, I was pregnant by you, T..."
[Sylvester coughs]
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 16)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 16)"

"Mmm... [blows smoke]
I see." Sylvester looks up at Twan
And says, "Congratulations, man, it looks like you done went
And had yourself a little T."
Twan says, "Naw, naw, naw. [chuckle]
This girl is trippin', G."
Tina says, "Trippin'?!" Roxanne says,
Then Twan says, "Girl,

With your lyin' ass, tell me, how do you know--"
"T--" "That that baby belonged to me?!"
Then out of nowhere, Tina's eye start blinkin' real fast
And she says to Twan,
"How do I know, Twan?"
Sylvester say, "Are you OK?" "How do I know?!"
Then Roxanne says, "Girl, I told you his ass was gonna deny this shit
When he saw you. Let's go."

Sylvester says, "Wait a minute." Twan says, "Bye."
Sylvester says, "Twan." "Shit, see you."
They both paused, turned around, Tina looked at Twan and says,
"In court, motherfucker, wouldn't wanna be you!"
Sylvester says, "Twan! Ladies, please.
Wait a minute. Don't go yet." Twan say, "They need to learn some respect."
I say, "Twan." He says, "Holla."
Roxanne say, "Nigga, she gonna holla at that child support check."

Sylvester's saying, "Nobody goin' nowhere.
Now, y'all resolve this so we can put this shit in the past."
Roxanne say, "Cool. We'll talk to you,
But we ain't got shit to say to his old, Shrek-lookin' ass."
T say, "Man, who this fever-blister-lookin' bitch
Think she talkin' to?"
"T--" She says, "You, motherfucker!" I said, "Damn, baby, calm down!"
Roxanne says, "What?! What you gonna do?!"

Tina starts to blink her eye again
But this time, even faster than before
And the she cries out real loud and says,
"I can't take this shit no more!"
Then Sylvester asks Roxanne, "What's wrong with your girl's eye?
It's like it keep flinchin'."
She say, "A year ago, a pimp hit her in the eye,
And ever since then, she's got this nervous condition."

Then Twan develops a soft spot and says,
"Sylvester, come here and let me holla."
Twan pulls him to the side and says, "Man, what you think?"
He says, "What you mean?" He says, "Am I that baby's father?"
Then Sylvester says, "I don't know. It's hard to tell,
Especially when you was in the pen.
But there's one thing I do believe and that is,
Is that the bitch didn't turn you in."

Then Twan start walkin' around, sayin', "Man, I don't know.
A nigga feelin' kinda strange."
Then Sylvester says, "Gwen told me, dawg,
That you was thinkin' about makin' a change."
Roxanne yell out, "I gotta lock this place up,
And y'all two got to go."
Sylvester say, "What time do this place close?" She says, "80 points is gone."
He says, "Well, act like it's a quarter to four!"

Then he says, "Talk to the girl, Twan.
It might be what you need."
Twan says, "A family man? ME?!
Man, I'm too deep in these streets!"
Sylvester said, "Man, that's exactly my point.
This shit will settle you down.
You need to get up off of that bullshit
And go holla at that girl right now."

Roxanne lookin' crazy, I'm like, "Go."
Twan say, "Sylvester, man--" I'm like, "Go."
Then Roxanne moves closer to Tina
Twan give me five and then says, "Fuck it, yo."
Then he steps to Tina and says,
"Tina, you wanna work this out?"
Then Roxanne tongue-kissed Tina dead in her mouth
And says to Twan, "I'm fuckin' her now..."
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 17)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 17)"

"Yeah, brud-law, that's what I'm talkin' about. Shoot 'em."
"Man, well, let me."

"Y'all lucky I like that kinda shit,
Or I'd been have shot both of y'all ass.
Come on, Twan, let's get the fuck up outta here."

"Wha--What, you just gonna let them get away with this shit?!"

"What? Kissin'?
Nigga, come on!
Bring yo ass!"

...Fuck that!
I'mma go buy me a gun,
And I'mma come back here and set this motherfucker off!
Yeah, bitches! Believe that!"

[door opens] "BRING YO ASS, NIGGA!"

"...Gimme my motherfuckin' coat!"
"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 18)"

"Trapped In The Closet (Chapter 18)"

[Twan:] "Man I can't believe these bitches all the shit I done went through and Tina's ass man kissing that bitch ooh!"
[Sylvester:] "Nigga calm down that's just what'cha ass get, did I tell ya not to go fucking with these damn tricks"
"Oh oh, but'chu the one told me holla at her" "nigga all I was try'na do was make it better you know stop the violence
But who would ever thought the bitch was diking? [laughs]"
"Well I'm glad to know that you having a good time and think this shit is funny"
"Bullshit to the side nigga you better start talking to me about how they get this money"
[Gwen calls] but Tawn is still cursing and talking loud
[Gwen calls] Sylvester say "it's Gwen man calm your voice doooooowwwwnnnnnnn. Hello?" Staticing...
"Gwendolyn?" Phone is staticing... "baby we getting a bad connection"
The phone still staticing, then Gwen says "Can you hear me now?" "No" "Can you hear me now?" "Babe!"
"Can you hear me now?" "Ok I got'chu." "good"
"Now, Sylvester where you at I'm waiting on you?" "Baby I'm on my way home to you"
"Movies or no?" "Baby sumthing came up and I got sumthing else to do"
"Well Myrna called" "what did Momma want?" "Same old thing just talking about Dale"
"What daddy done done this time?" "Drinking and cursing people out she put his ass in jail"
"Daddy be trippin he think he big pimpin" "well Myrna say he touch her he goin be limpin
You know your peoples on the Westside be trippin" "I'll see you in a minute" "well hurry up I'm cooking"

Meanwhile at the church, Rufus is getting his praise on
With the Reverend Mosley James Evans in the peace within choir
Oh they dancing, oh they shouting, so many people being broken
You gotta see the rest for yourself, the doors to the church is open

[Song changes as Reverend MJE and choir sings]
He will (Jesus goin work it out) work it out (Jesus goin work it out)
God will (Jesus goin work it out) work it out (Jesus goin work it out)
Saints (Jesus goin work it out) don't cha get my offer (Jesus goin work it out)
Don't cha get my offering (Jesus goin work it out) uh, in the second offering (Jesus goin work it out)
Hey! (Work it out)
Didn't he didn't he work it out (work it out) didn't he didn't he work it out (work it out)
Didn't he didn't he work it out (my God will work it out)
Hey, all my winners do, hey (work it out) baby need a parachute, yeah (work it out)
Turned it all over to Jesus (work it out) Hey yeah! (Work it out)
Hey, good God almighty, how many of y'all know that he worked it out? (Yeah)
Choir help me (worked it out) hey, he done already did it (for you-ooh-ooh)

Then Rufus goes to his office and answers his phone
Put his hand over the speaker told his assistant "I need to be alone" (work it out)
He watches her as she leaves the room (for you-ooh-ooh)
[Reverend MJE:] "Said I got the rest of the church is open, Pimp Lucus come on down, hallelujah!"
She close the door, and he says "Chuck"
[Song changes back from beginning]
Then Chuck says "Rufus!"
And then they talk at the same time then Rufus laughs and says "Chuck you go first"
"Rufus I been try'na get in touch with you, I'm blowing up your phone."
Then Rufus says "I had a lot of things to do around the church. Chuck tell me what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, Rufus I'm missing you!"
"Chuck calm down, I miss you too."
"How come you haven't called me?" "All because I been busy"
"Ooh that is a lie" "Chuck I'm telling the truth" "Bullshit Rufus that is not the real excuse!!
It's her" "Chuck wait a minute—" "It's her ain't it?"
"Chuck listen to me, now you know and I know that Cathy is my wife
I mean, you knew that I had another life"
"Yeah that's true, sure I knew and we vowed to keep it between us too
All of the hotels and things we do, how we told each other I love you" "Chuck--"
"And you told me I was your dream come true" "Chuck--"
"And now you're throwing your wife at my face. Wasn't saying that shit when I was fucking you!" "Chuck not on the phone!"
Cathy walks in to let Rufus know she's back
Rufus pause for a minute and then says "Chuck I'll call you back."
He hangs up and then Cathy says "Baby who were you talking too?"
He didn't know he pushed speaker phone Chuck cries out "RUFUS I NEED YOU!!"
Cathy starts snapping then Chuck starts snapping (Chuck & Cathy arguing)
Then Rufus tries to calm him down, Cathy took in the phone and throwing it around
Then Rufus says "Cathy go!" she says "Oh you putting me out your office?!
All the shit we just went through Rufus!" "Cathy go back in church I got this!"
Cathy leaves out; Rufus gets right back on the phone and says "Chuck let me come see ya."
Chuck says "No" then Rufus says "We gotta talk..." Chucks says "Rufus don't let me GOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
He cries, but Rufus he ain't feeling it
But Chuck is steady going on and crying ("Rufus I really love you!! Don't let me go!") But he ain't feeling it
He's talking, coffing, cursing and screaming and crying
Then Rufus says "Chuck, this is gonna be hard..." "Rufus!" "...but I love my wife!" "Rufus!" "Besides I'm a man of God!"
"Rufus!" Chuck says "Rufus I'm not gonna expect that, I'm going straight to the news! "
Then Rufus says "Chuck, slow down you don't know what'cha saying you're confused! Rufus says "Just lemme come see ya!"
Chuck says "NO!" Rufus says "WHY!?"
[Coughs] "Cause I'm in the hospital."