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"Ladies"

"Ladies"



Ladies of leisure, with their eyes on the back roads ---
All looking for strangers, to whom they extend welcomes
With a smile and a glimpse of pink knees and elbows;
Of satin and velvet --- good ladies, good fortune.
Ladies.
They sing of their heroes: of solitary soldiers
Invested in good health and manner most charming.
Whose favors are numbered (none the less well intended)
By hours in a minute; by those ladies who bless them.
Ladies.
 
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"Lap Of Luxury"

"Lap Of Luxury"



The money won't last forever ---
rent man called twice today.
I hope some day you'll find me
in the lap of luxury.

Searched for a new apartment
but they don't grow on trees.
Just want to lay my head
in the lap of luxury.

Stepped out on a new horizon ---
felt a new spring in my feet.
Found a job, it could set me up
dangling in the lap of luxury.

And the gaffer is a man of substance ---
drives a jag and takes high tea.
Lives beyond the industrial wasteland,
laughing in the lap of luxury.

I need money, now, to soothe my heart!

Buy me a Datsun or Toyota ---
get the tax man to agree
all expenses I can muster
from the lap of luxury.
 
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"Last Man At The Party"

"Last Man At The Party"



Sister Bridget by the stair... a glass of wine and she's almost there.
Cousin Jimmy at the door... another beer and he's on the floor.
Friends and neighbours come around,
waste no time we're heaven-bound.
But not before we raise a glass to good camaraderie.

Stinky Joe from down the street fell right over his own three feet.
He's doubled up in the outside loo, to taste again the devil's brew.
Friends and neighbours come around,
waste no time we're heaven-bound.
But not before we raise a glass to good camaraderie.

So make yourselves jolly under mistletoe, holly and ivy.
Get to it - and be in good cheer.
And when it's all over... pigs gone to clover -
Will the last man at the party wish me a happy New Year.

The house is jumping, suppers up. Curried goat in a paper cup.
Forks of plastic, knives of tin... who cares what state the goat is in.
Someone with the gift of song
has brought his pal to sing along.
Now they're turning up old Frank Sinatra on the stereo.
 
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"Later, That Same Evening"

"Later, That Same Evening"



Later, that same evening, she ran.
I think she ran alone.
Later, she had early warning from
a hidden phone.
Checked with the embassy ---
she might have been
a million miles away.
Should I circulate her likeness
at all airports without delay?
It was later ---
later that same evening.

Earlier, we had had a drink or four
in some Kensington hotel.
Hard --- it was hard to keep my mind
on what she had to sell.
And with all business done
we took a cab ---
should it be her place or mine?
Good security prevailed
and I was home just after nine.
It was later ---
later that same evening.

Now I want you back.
Yes, they want you back.
We want you back.
My country wants you back.

Later, in the wee small hours
there was heavy traffic on the radio.
Scare at a channel port ---
small craft warnings to keep to shore.
Lobstermen thought they saw
a submarine
half submerged suspiciously.
Though I arrived too late,
I'm sure she blew a kiss to me
as the sub sailed out to sea.
 
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"Law Of The Bungle"

"Law Of The Bungle"



The tiger flashes sharpened teeth.
Bowler-hatted; summer briefs
Beneath his pinstriped skin.

To kill demands a business sense;
Economy moves non-residence
Approaching from down-wind.

Being a tiger means you laugh
Whenever lesser tigers have
To eat meat that's infected.

Being a tiger means your mate
When overfed will defecate
In places least expected.

Knowing a tiger means you must
Accept his promise of mutual trust
And offer him your throat.

Loving a tiger means you take
Second place to the cake you bake
And with undying servile obedience
keep the stiffly starched collar
of his conference shirt spotless
and remove daily the daubed bloody
evidence of his dastardly misdeeds
from the otherwise immaculate elegance
of his pinstripe tiger coat.

Period.
 
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"Law Of The Bungle Part II"

"Law Of The Bungle Part II"



''Hello. This is `Law of the Bungle Part II'. By the way, I'm Martin
Barre; but sometimes I'm an owl, and my feathers are really smooth,
and when I feel romantic I like to dress up in men's clothing.''
 
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"Left Right"

"Left Right"



The master playwright
Urges you to play right/play wrong;
Life is long and every night's the first night.

The wardrobe mistress
Urges you to dress left/dress right;
What a mess when your underpants are too tight.

Who's on the stage door
To help you find the way in/way out?
It's not a sin to be knowing that you don't know.

When you breathe your last line
Will you make your exit stage left/stage right?
Well, you might decide while there's still time.

You have an angel on your shoulder
But you wear the old god's horns.
And you dance around the maypole
While the vicar makes a toast
To the pagan celebration
And extends an invitation to us all
So he can save us when we fall.

Who's your leading lady?
Will you help to get her off the bus? It's best
to pass the test before you get too lazy.

Strike up the orchestra.
Take your cues on the up-beat/Beat down
Anyone who says he doesn't like the sound.
 
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"Lick Your Fingers Clean"

"Lick Your Fingers Clean"



I'll see you at the weighing in when your life's sum-total's made.
And you set your wealth in godly deeds against the sins you've laid.
So place your final burden on your hard-pressed next of kin:
Send the chamber pot back down the line to be filled up again.
Take your mind off your election and try to get it straight.
And don't pretend perfection: you'll be crucified too late.
And he'll say you really should make the deal as he offers round the hat.
Well, you'd better lick your fingers clean, I thank you all for that.
And as you join the good ship earth and you mingle with the dust
be sure to leave your underpants with someone you can trust.
And the hard-headed social worker who bathes his hands in blood
will welcome you with arms held high and cover you with mud.
And he'll say you really should make the deal as he offers round the hat.
Well, you'd better lick your fingers clean, well. I'll thank you all for that.
 
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"Life Is A Long Song"

"Life Is A Long Song"



When you're falling awake and you take stock of the new day,
and you hear your voice croak as you choke on what you need to say,
well, don't you fret, don't you fear,
I will give you good cheer.

Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.

If you wait then your plate I will fill.

As the verses unfold and your soul suffers the long day,
and the twelve o'clock gloom spins the room,
you struggle on your way.
Well, don't you sigh, don't you cry,
lick the dust from your eye.

Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.

We will meet in the sweet light of dawn.

As the Baker Street train spills your pain all over your new dress,
and the symphony sounds underground put you under duress,
well don't you squeal as the heel grinds you under the wheel.

Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.
Life's a long song.

But the tune ends too soon for us all.
 
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"Lights Out"

"Lights Out"


Last light's out
They're all abed
And something's in my room
Creeping down towards me on the wall

Daddy said it's just some flickering
headlight through the gloom
Making shapes through trees outside the hall

But what the hell does he know?
He doesn't feel the dread
The cold restricting terror in the dark

I've seen that silhouette before
Something the newsman said
Something about some monster in the park

[Chorus:]
It's you, you're the man on the TV screen
It's you front page face of the dead
Locked up in the light of day
At night come out to play
To terrorize me there above my bed

The air is still and heavy now
There's thunder in the sky
He's dreaming up some message he can send

I'm scared completely helpless
and I think I'm going to cry
Are grownups brave or do they just pretend?

His face is growing clearer
I can see his eyes glow red
My teddy bear's the only friend I can feel

The shadow's hand slips down the wall
And touches teddy's head
I now suspect that shadow will touch me

[Chorus]

[Repeat chorus]

It's you...
 
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