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"The Preacher And The Bear"

"The Preacher And The Bear"



Yeah here come the preacher ha ha
Well the preacher went out a huntin' it was on one Sunday morn
It was against his religion but he took a shotgun along
He got him a mess of mighty fine quail and one old scraggly hare
But on the way home he crossed the path of a great big grizzly bear

Well the bear got down looked ready to charge
The preacher never seen nothin' quite that large
They looked each other right smack in the eye
Didn't take that preacher long to say bye
The preacher he run till he spotted a tree
He said up in that tree's where I oughta be
By the time that bear made a grab for him
The preacher was a sittin' on top a that limb
Scared to death he turned about
He looked to the sky and began to shout

Hey Lord you delivered Daniel from the bottom of the lion's den
You delivered Joana from the belly of the whale and then
The Hebrew children from the fiery furnace so the good books do declare
Hey Lord if you can't help me for goodness sake don't help that bear

Yeah look out preacher
Well about that time the limb broke off and the preacher come a tumblin' down
Had a straight razor out of his pocket about the time he lit on the ground
He landed on his feet right in front a that bear and Lord what an awful fight
The preacher and the bear and the razor and the hair just a flyin' from left to right

Well at first they was up and then they was down
The preacher and the bear runnin' round and round
The bear he roared and the the preacher he groaned
Havin' a tough time a holdin' his own
He said Lord if I get outta here alive
Then to the good book I'll abide
No more huntin' on the Sabbath day
Come Sunday I'm headin' to the church to pray
Up to the heavens the preacher glanced
Said Lord won't you give me one more chance
So the preacher got away he looked around
Seen a tree where he'd be safe and sound
Jumped on a limb turned about
Looked to the sky and began to shout

Hey Lord you delivered old Daniel from the bottom of the lion's den...

No get outta here bear
Lord do somethin' for me and forget that bear
I'm tellin' ya he's big look at the size of that thing whoa
Get what are you get offa this tree
Lord help me
Are you kiddin' me with the size of that bear
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.266
"The Telephone"

"The Telephone"



Ya ever drop your last dime in a public phone
Have it keep your dime not even give you a tone
And you beat that silly contraption with your fist till it comes off the wall
Or did you ever place a call to St Louis direct
And get the Civil Defense in Connecticut
And operators say well ain't that the number you called

And my phone bill that's wrong about half the time
And I always get this operator on the line
And she says well Mr Reed ya just called this place on your phone
And I say lady look I don’t know a soul livin' in Tokyo
And the only way I can pay this phone bill is when I mortgage my home

Well you can find 'em in every home
This thing called the telephone
It's the ultimate in modern day design
When it ain't out of order then the number's been changed
Or it's disconnected or it just won't ring
Why it's enough to drive a sane man clean out of his mind

Did you ever place a call on a hectic day
And you couldn't understand a word nobody had to say
And you keep tryin' to get your operator to come back on the line huh
You stand there and you click that lever till your face turns blue
And finally she comes buttin' in on you
And she says your three minutes are up you're out of time

Now I've had to stumble through the house without a light
To get to the phone in the middle of the night
And I stumble over every stick of furniture in the house just gettin' there
So with a skinned shin and a busted toe I grab the phone
And I say a hello and all I get is ah ah ah in my ear

Well son you can find 'em in every home...

Alright this is my last time with my last dime

Operator what huh I know well I know that huh
But uh uh uh operator operator well I know you're sorry
What huh I spent fifteen minutes I’ve been dialin' home
What ya you said that oh wait uh operator
Yeh huh give me my dime will ya gimme my dime back
I gotta go to the bathroom listen what is this oh nuts
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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30.266
"The Uptown Poker Club"

"The Uptown Poker Club"



Well now Bill Jackson went to poor ol' Dub
To join the Uptown Poker Club
And he cursed the day he ever told anybody he joined
Cause his money used to go like it had wings
When he had queens somebody else had kings
And every night he'd just sit there donatin' all his coins

He said boys now I'm gonna play it right tonight
I'm gonna watch them cards and I'm gonna play 'em tight
And then when I come in there son my hand's gonna be a peach
Well he played 'em tight but after awhile
He done lost his self a considerable pile
So he got mad he stood up and he made this little speech

Now boys you see this razor well I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm comin' in here with my rules that everybody gonna follow when they play
Now you Clyde you keep your hands on top of the table when you're dealing please
Quit takin' them little wild cards and stickin' em down there between your knees
And Jesse quit makin' all them funny signs like you tryin' to tip off your hand
You better talk to me in American son American so's I can understand
And Leroy quit takin' em offa the bottom ooh that's rough
Just take five off the top then stop that's enough
Then pass me them cards son let me cut on them things every time before you deal
I like to handle them things boy I like to see
Cause I got news for you lad you ain't playin' this game accordin' that fella Hoyle there
Uh uh no tonight you're playin' this game accordin' to me

Well now a sittin' around the table in that there game
There just happened to be this ol' one-eyed man
And Bill kept watchin' him out of the corner of his eye
This old one-eyed cat he'd been dealin' kinda funny
He done took a whole bunch of big Bill's money
So Bill rose up and he looked around the room and with a sigh

He said hmm said it's an awful shame
Said there's somebody cheatin' in this here game
Said of course it ain't gonna do for me to stand up here and mention the guy
So I'll refrain from calling that party's name
But you let me catch him cheatin' just once again
And I'm gonna take my fist and I’m gonna close that other eye

Now you see this razor well I had it sharpened just today
Now I'm comin' in here with my rules that everybody must follow when they play
Now Clyde you keep them bony hands up here on top of the table when you're dealin' please
Don't go takin' them little wild aces stickin' em off down there between your knees
And Jesse cut out makin' all them monkey signs you still tryin' to tip off your hand
You better talk to me in American big AA so's I can understand
And Leroy quit takin' em off the bottom of the deck son I tell ya that's rough
This is an army game son take five then halt that's enough
Then pass me them face cards over here let me cut them things every time before you deal
Cause I like to delve in there son I got to see
Cause I got news for you boys you ain't playin this game accordin' to that fella Hoyle there
Uh uh tonight you're playin' this game accordin' to me

Now then seein' as how you all know that I didn't ride in here on a head of cabbage
Henry if you'll break out another deck of them Bicycles me and the boys will get on with the business
But keep your eye on that fella wearin' the patch he holds them cards kinda funny
Ha ha if he ain't careful somebody around this table liable to jack his jaw
Ha ha ha ah son I feel like my luck just changed
 
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Učlanjen(a)
06.07.2010
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"There's Better Things In Life"

"There's Better Things In Life"



Last night I slept in a hobo camp down south of Cairo Georgia
About five miles out of town by the railroad track
Well I eat their stew I drunk their brew and I smoked their stale tobacco
I stood up to their open fire and I warmed my back

And in the meantime me and this one particular hobo we struck up a conversation
And I'm sure he must have noticed my surprise
When he told me how his old man died and left him sole heir to a million dollars
And how he gave it all away and he chose a hobo's life

Because he said son there's better things in life
Well there's some things gold and silver just can't buy
He said boy I'd rather sleep here on this dry creek bed
With a wrinkled up overcoat to pillow my head
Than fight that livin' high up on the hog
Tryin' to keep ahead till my head's in a fog
Son there's better things in life than growing ulcers over money
There's better things in life
Sing children hey da da da da da da da da...

Well I left Georgia got me a job in Opelika Alabama
Workin' for a man who drove me hard and he paid me cheap yes he did
Well I watched this poor fool work so hard tryin' to make that almighty dollar
That he had to live on pills from a drugstore down the street

Now like last spring when income tax came due he just sat around for days and worried
Losing good sleep tryin' to figure how to cheat the government yes he did
He worked so hard that his nerves collapsed and he woke up inside Central State Hospital
And on his taxes he got back fourteen dollars and some few cents

So let me tell you friends there's better things in life
Well there's some things gold and silver just can't buy
Because now he's laying out flat on his back on the bed
His nerves all shot and he's out of his head
That hospital bill that'll make him holler
When he sees what he spent tryin' to save himself a dollar
Son there's better things in life than growing squirelly over money
There's better things in life
Sing children sing da da da da da da da da...
 
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06.07.2010
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"Time For Love"

"Time For Love"



There was a time my world was so cold
No one to touch there was no one to hold
But now you are mine and it's time for love
Baby it's time for love

Life without love is the loneliest thing
Nights are so long when there's only your dreams
But now you are mine and it's time for love

How long I dreamed about these moments we share
Someone to want my love someone to care
Seems all those lonesome times were so long ago
And now that you're mine I'll never let you go I need you so

And I know together we'll find
Love that's gonna grow even sweeter in time
Now you are mine and it's time for love
Baby it's time for love
 
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06.07.2010
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"Time In A Bottle"

"Time In A Bottle"



If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Then I'd save every day like a treasure
And then again I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them
But I looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
 
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06.07.2010
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"To Love You"

"To Love You"



I’ve been awake in my dreams
I’ve never known what it means
To be in your eyes with you in my mind
Sharing each heartbeat of time
To love you

No other voice have I heard
Say what you say without words
Watching my air castles fall by the way
Knowing I live everyday
To love you

I’ve seen all my yesterdays scattered like leaves in the wind
I’ll not let tomorrow go by and find I’m without you again
All of my cold empty days like December snows melt away
To know I was cold is to know I am warm
I wanna stay in your arms
To love you

To know I was cold is to know I am warm
I wanna stay in your arms
To love you
 
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"Today Is Mine"

"Today Is Mine"



Today Is Mine
When the sun came up this morning I took the time to watch it rise.
As its beauty struck the darkness from the skies.
I thought how small and unimportant all my troubles seem to be,
and how lucky another day belongs to me.
And as the sleepy world around me woke up to greet the day,
and all its silent beauty seemed to say:
So what, my friend, if all your dreams you haven't realized.
Look around, you got a whole new day to try.
Today is mine, today is mine, to do with what I will.
Today is mine. My own special cup to fill.
To die a little that I might learn to live.
And take from life that I might learn to give.
Today is mine.
With all men I curse the present that seems void of peace of mind,
and race my thoughts beyond tomorrow and vision there more peace of mind.
But when I view the day around me I can see the fool I've been.
For today is the only garden we can tend.
Today is mine, today is mine, to do with what I will.
Today is mine. My own special cup to fill.
To die a little that I might learn to live.
And take from life that I might learn to give.
Today is mine.
 
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06.07.2010
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"Travellin' Music"

"Travellin' Music"



Hey Sam hey Sam on the piano play me a little travelin' music Sam
That woman she don't want me lord she put them misery's on me
I played her Hearts And Flowers she don't wanna dance
So let's have a little travelin' music Sam

Just play it low and play it slow
So when I'm gone she'll sit around chewin' on her fingernails
Kick herself around the block for lettin' me go
I tried to love her but she wanted another man
So let's have a little travelin' music play me a little travelin' music
Let's have a little travelin' music Sam

When I met her my heart sang out a happy song
Her sweet talk was music to my ears
Then before I knew it me and she was singin' a duet
So now the blues is all I ever hear

Well let's have a little travelin' music Sam
That woman she don't want me lord she put them misery's on me
She knows a million ways of messin' up a man
So let's have a little travelin' music play me some travelin' music
Let's have a little travelin' music Sam

Let's have a little travelin' music Sam...
Play it Sam
 
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"Tupelo Mississippi Flash"

"Tupelo Mississippi Flash"



I'm gonna tell you a story that's all about
This job I had one time as a talent scout

I had a hard day at the office and the boss wasn't in town
The day this hired legged guitar picker just happened to come around
Well, he walks into my office with a great big grin
And folks that's where my story really begins

He said, "Son my name is Boregard Rippy
I come to you from Tupelo Mississippi
I write songs that'll sing like a bird
I play licks on my guitar like you ain't never heard"

"But I'm down on my luck, things are just a little slack
I gotta quarter in my pocket and a shirt on my back
But you buy me some supper, give me a place I can sleep"
He said, "I'll sing you some songs
That'll knock your head to creak, I got talent boy"
Said, "Back home they call me the Tupelo Mississippi Flash"

Well, I knew I was in a room with some kind of a nut
When he pulled out that pack of used cigarette butts
So that's when I told him,'We can't use you today?
So I handed the boy a dollar and I sent him on his way

Well, the boss got back and we both had a laugh
When I told him 'bout the Tupelo Mississippi Flash
And pretty soon I had the story circlin' around
About this Mississippi nut that we had in our town

I said,'Watch him everybody, the boy's squirrely
He walks around callin' himself the Tupelo Mississippi Flash?

Well, and it happened one day while I was drivin' to my home
I just happened to have my car radio on
When I heard the jockey ravin' about a brand new smash
By a kid called the Tupelo Mississippi Flash

Well, I almost wrecked my automobile
I went through a red light, I hit the traffic cop, why

Well, my story's got an ending and it's short and sweet
The boss man he fired me and left me out in the street
But I got a new job now and I'm learnin' real fast
I'm drivin' the bus for the Tupelo Mississippi Flash

And his Cadillac, I'm driving that for him too
And that yacht he's got, and his aeroplane
Well, chauffeur, so good, I always say
Tupelo Mississippi, who ever heard of it, why

I'll kill the boy
Help him somebody
 
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