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"Paul (Skit)"
(performed by Paul Rosenberg)

"Paul (Skit)"
(performed by Paul Rosenberg)



Em... what's going on, it's Paul...
Umm... Dre gave me a copy of the new album and I just...
[sigh]
Fuck it.
 
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"Paul (Skit)"

"Paul (Skit)"


Hey Em, it's Paul
Uh, listen I just got a call from the label
And you're probably not gonna be surprised but, um
Michael Jackson is extremely upset about the 'Just Lose It' video
And um, I mean he's pissed so I-I don't know what he's gonna do
But we gotta talk about how we're gonna handle this, um
Oh yeah, anyway, somebody told me that, um, they heard a rumor that you got a new gun, um
I know it's probably not true, but I just need to talk to you about that
So, uh, give me a call [click]
 
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"Paul (Skit)"

"Paul (Skit)"


Paul Em its Paul...ummm I just listened the entire album..
and you gotta be fuckin kidding me I mean with this Christopher Reeves
Shit You know the guys dead right?
and then the whole gay step father incest rape thing I don't have your back on this one I cant even fuckin handle it I'm done
 
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"Paul Rosenberg (Skit)"

"Paul Rosenberg (Skit)"


Em, it's Paul.
Listen, Joel just called me and he said you're in the fucking back behind his studio,
shooting your gun off in the air like it's a shooting range.
I told you not to fucking bring your gun around, like an idiot, outside of your home.
You're gonna get yourself in trouble.
Don't bring your gun outside of your home you can't carry it on you.
Leave your fuckin gun at home.
 
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"Phenomenal"

"Phenomenal"


[Hook:]
I am phenomenal
With every ounce of my blood
With every breath in my lungs
Won't stop until I'm phe-no-menal
I am phenomenal
However long that it takes
I'll go to whatever lengths
It's gonna make me a monster though
I am phenomenal
But I would never say, ‘Oh, it’s impossible’
Cause I'm born to be phenomenal

Unstoppable, unpoppable thought bubbles
Untoppable thoughts, fuckin' juggernaut that'll
Stomp you in the verse, obstacles I'm drawn to 'em
When the going got rough
Some of what I done fought through was the worst, little sissy
Who the fuck taught you how to persevere?
There ain't no situation that you ever had to respond to that's adverse
The messiest thing you've ever gone through was your purse
Yeah, I don't try like hell, then I might as well
Hang it up like a shelf, gotta keep growin' with it, evolve
Cause you can keep throwin' shit at the wall
But you're gonna find that nothing's gonna stick until you apply yourself
Time to slip in that zone till' I find myself
Inside the realm of the unknown and boldly go
Into waters where nobody else has gone before
Or willing to go, uncharted, feeling is so
Bomb, I'm feelin' myself, I'm a giant
Sometimes I gotta remind myself that I am...

I am phenomenal
With every ounce of my blood
With every breath in my lungs
Won't stop until I'm phe-no-menal
I am phenomenal
However long that it takes
I'll go to whatever lengths
It's gonna make me a monster though
I am phenomenal
But I would never say, ‘Oh, it’s impossible’
Cause I'm born to be phenomenal

Let me self-empower you
When you're down and they're tryin' to clown the fuck out of you
And you feel like you're runnin' out of fuel
I'll show you how to use doubt as fuel
Convert it to gunpowder too
Now what you do is put the match to the charcoal fluid
Put the spark to it like Martha Stewart barbecuing
Ah screw it, feel like you want to hit that wall then do it
Punch through it, just cock back, put your all into it
Now you gon' take that rage and make that what you wage
Never take back what you say
If you stay strapped in your brain, engaged in a steel cage match
Ready to scrap asap
Take your fists and just ball it
Show who's big and who's smallest you're Christopher Wallace
Now picture 'em all as plastic and foam
Lays flat, where you put your dinner plates at
And set it on 'em like a placemat
(I am phenomenal)
And I want you to say that

I am phenomenal
With every ounce of my blood
With every breath in my lungs
Won't stop until I'm phe-no-menal
I am phenomenal
However long that it takes
I'll go to whatever lengths
It's gonna make me a monster though
I am phenomenal
But I would never say, ‘Oh, it’s impossible’
Cause I'm born to be phenomenal

Step into the unknown and find yourself
You're floating freely, no emotion

Got a fuckin’ mouth with no shut-off valve
Can't even cut off power to it, but it's what allowed
Me to come up out from under the fuckin' ground
Cause I worked my butt off now
It's a subject that I don't know how to shut up about
Cause I stuck it out
Like a motherfucking tongue thats how, I responded when I got shoved around
You're gonna have non-believers
But when you're beyond belief, you probably shouldn't wonder how
Get it how you live
But are you prepared to give more than you get?
And put in twice what you get back from this shit
Though what you sacrifice barely is half, never give
Rap is my shiv
But it's like my shield at the same time I wield and my knife is will
Sometimes I feel just like B. Real from Cypress Hill
How I can just kill a cypher, survivor's guilt
I rhyme like life is still an uphill climb
Ready to face any challenge, waitin'
Can taste it, it's salivation, I'm wagin' retaliation
Look what I have built, reputation is validation
The only thing I'm capable of makin' is amazing
Only thing you're capable of makin' is a false statement
Or accusation... I am legendary status, in fact
That is the only way you'll ever be able to say
Your legend is makin' an allegation
I write with the left, same hand I hold the mic with
As I fight to the death, 'til my last breath
Managed to prove who the best man is
Prevail at all costs, be the only ones left standing
In the end, but I ain't gonna be the only one with the advantage
Of knowing what it's like to be southpaw
Cause you can bet your ass you'll be left handed
Cause I am

I am phenomenal
With every ounce of my blood
With every breath in my lungs
Won't stop until I'm phe-no-menal
I am phenomenal
However long that it takes
I'll go to whatever lengths
It's gonna make me a monster though
I am phenomenal
But I would never say, ‘Oh, it’s impossible’
Cause I'm born to be phenomenal
 
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"Psychopath Killer"
(feat. Eminem & Yelawolf)

"Psychopath Killer"
(feat. Eminem & Yelawolf)



I guess you could consider it poetry, but with me it started out with just words, just words.
They started looking like puzzle pieces so I started connecting them to each other 'til they started to resemble blank canvases.
By this time I was an artist so I just started to see these pictures, these real visuals, psychopathical killer

(I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer
I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer
A psychopath, I'm a killer
A psychopath, I'm a killer)

Feelin' it in the air, hanging in the night
Staring at the full moon
Did you ever think we would come to find?
Maybe in my dreams

I'm a psychopath, I'm never keepin' it plain
Lyrical murder is somethin' I've been about
Ever since I was a little kid, doodlin' in the class
Drew a picture of my teacher, bullet in his head, ruler in his ass
With a toilet in front of him, throwin' up, pissed off
Prolly symbolic of this thought, sick tot
To my inner enemy in a rush
I'm havin' nightmares of leavin' behind my dreams
With anything less than a full bank
It's like I'm General Hong, and I'm standin' in front of a gun
I'm puttin' myself in the way of a bullet to pull rank
The hood is over my eyes but the wool ain't
Yeah, got the mentality of bein' with a wizard
Every award show, we don't even get considered
How do you sell somethin' that's so lyrical
To a kid that wouldn't know what was hittin' if it hit him?
Now I wanna talk about these niggas from Detroit
Before me and Shady who was thinkin' 'bout Detroit
We put the world onto us so watch how you say "fuck me"
You just might jinx yourself, whoop, your girl gon' do it
Cause I was in 911 in Chicago, 911 at the same time
I had already been grindin' since '97, that's longevity
And if you think you're lyrically better, you better be a killer

(I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer)
You ain't ever see a mothafucka get realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Pull an automatic on anybody sporadic I choose
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Cause ain't nobody iller
Knowing nobody for realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)

This elite drinker, is a ringleader
I'm a deep thinker, I'm a street preacher
With a street sweeper full of heat seekers
In your Jeep speakers I'm a keep ringers
I don't need heaters, I got the meat cleaver
Welcome to the slaughterhouse
Niggas try to tell me I spell too much
Capital S to the laugh to the T-E-R
Ho, U-S-E, now go to hell you fucks, word
Making work disappear quick as magic
Abracadabra, the traffic blacker than Africa
Can you imagine a nigga flipping bread for the blood?
Money like Dracula, has him a spatula, ask me a question
Am I the best with the flexing?
Fuck yes with the goon talk
I just moonwalk all over the beat then I'm lightin' up the street
CROOKED going Michael Jackson on Thriller
I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer

(I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer)
You ain't ever see a mothafucka get realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Pull an automatic on anybody sporadic I choose
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Cause ain't nobody iller
Knowing nobody for realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)

Feelin' it in the air, hanging in the night
Staring at the full moon
Did you ever think we would come to find?
Maybe in my dreams

The thought of retiring
Is makin' me want to set your daughter on fire with a soldering iron
What up mom, applyin' for the rim job, are you hirin'?
I'm hopin' to fill up your opening
Oh but I know I gotta meet a lot of requirements
First I gotta accept you in the lobby and the isle and
You've probably already been with all the slaughter and iron men
No mood to be playin' second fiddle, slob on this violin
With no strings attached
I'm just the product of a hostile environment
But bein' brought up so brought up inspired
But I don't know why, it's still like I'm caught up inside a whirlpool
Not an appliance, but applyin' this science, I psychotically rhyme
And it's like stars have aligned all in alliance
Heart of a lion, balls of Goliath
Obscene talkin', the twine like a bean's talkin' and buyin'
But I keep walkin' the line between the wrong and the right
But everything I write seems wrong and it's like
I'm ecstatic at all the static that I can still cause
In the fabric of our modern society
Now Catholics are panicking cause I snapped back to my old antics and shenanigans
Dammit the pope's mad again
Probably shouldn't have ran up in the Vatican with that mannequin
Singin' "Bagpipes from Baghdad" again
In my dad's drag draggin' a faggot in, a glad bag
Won't be the last time I make a dramatic entrance, like that again
You thought I was lyin' when I said I think that I'm crossin' the line again?
I've lost my mind, caution oh God I think I've thought of another fucking line
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
But hip hop has left me brainwashed with a violent streak
Defiant, now the odds of me tryin' to fuckin' be quiet
Probably gotta be 'bout as high as the Jolly Green Giant
After he's fallen in pollen next to a killer bee hive colony tryin' to sneak by it
While his feet stomp follow me while I revive rap
I'm a start up a rioting, try to stop it or silence it
You're not gonna, might as well just hit the block in your joggin' attire in
Boston, across the marathon finish line and I
Put your thoughts against mine
Cause the arsenal I have'll scar you for life, worse than Dzhokhar
And I have a bomb, pliers and barbed wire
Your bars are like Barney Fife with a fucking swiss army knife
A saberless Darth Vader with arthritis at a bar fight
With the Dark Knight on a dark night with his arms tied up
I'm Dahmer-like when I'm on the mic, I'm not gonna lie
Perform like I'm gonna die at the end of a song so it's hard for the rhyme to end
Like fuck 'em all and just ride
Like I'm locked up inside a shot up Bonnie and Clyde car
Uncle Ronnie is driving, 'bout to burst in through the side door
Of Arkham Asylum and park in the dining room

(I'm a psychopath, I'm a killer)
You ain't ever see a mothafucka get realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Pull an automatic on anybody sporadic I choose
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
Cause ain't nobody iller
Knowing nobody for realer
(A psychopath, I'm a killer)
 
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"Public Enemy #1"

"Public Enemy #1"


I sense someones tapping into my phones why do
I got this feeling in my bones I might die soon
The F.B.I might be tryin to pull my file soon
I might be walking blind fold into a typhoon
I might be seeing rockets light up the night sky
Right outside of the window of my living room
And if they do you can say goodnight and bye bye to them itunes
If I don't try to record as much before I do
The plan is to have as many in the can as I can
As I stand before you in this booth a walking deadman
Blank stare dead pan look as my face as I gaze into space
As I wait to be scooped up in that van
Mysteriously disappear into thin air
And they gon' say a sniper just appeared out of no where
And I'll go down in the history as the blood sucking leech
Who hid behind the freedom of speech
Tryed to take the fifth amendment use it, twist it and bend it
And ended up dying to fill out in the heros splinters (?)
The business way to end this I can feel the tremors tremendous
In remembrance of september 11
Flash back to september 7th
When Tupac was murdered in Vegas
He said that he predicted his own death
Let us never forget it or should we ever live to regret it
Like the day John F Kennedy was assasinated in broad day
By a craze lunatic with a gun
Who just happened to work on the same block in a library book depository
Where the President would go for a little friday stroll
Shots fired from the grassy knoll
But they don't know or do they?
Whos they for them to say Touch©
Where all vunerable and it's spooky
This is about as cookey as I've ever felt now
Count down to Nuclear Meltdown
7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
You can run you can do what you want to
But you know you aint gonna do nuttin
When its time its your time
You are the prime target
You have become Public Enemy Number 1
 
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"Public Service Announcement (Skit)"

"Public Service Announcement (Skit)"


[Announcer]
This is a public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady
The views and events expressed here are totally fucked
and are not necessarily the views of anyone
However, the events and suggestions that appear on this album
are NOT to be taken lightly
Children should NOT partake in the listening in this album
with laces in their shoes
Slim Shady is not responsible for your actions
Upon purchasing this album, you have agreed NOT to try this at home

[Announcer - To Eminem]
Em, Anything else?

[Eminem]
Yeah, don't do drugs
 
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"Public Service Announcement 2000 (Skit)"
(with Jeff Bass)

"Public Service Announcement 2000 (Skit)"
(with Jeff Bass)



This is another public service announcement
Brought to you in part by Slim Shady
(Tell 'em I don't give a fuck)
Slim Shady does not give a fuck what you think
(Tell 'em to suck it)

If you don't like it you can suck his fucking cock
(Tell 'em they kissed my ass)
Little did you know upon purchasing this album
You have just kissed his ass!
(Tell 'em I'm fed up)

Slim Shady is fed up with your shit
And he's going to kill you
(Yeah)
Uh, anything else?

Yeah, sue me!
 
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"Puke"

"Puke"


[Sounds of someone puking]

There I go--thinking of you again

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fuckin' sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you, I puke
You must just not know--whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke

I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little poem
But off of the dome would probably be a little more, more suitable for this type of song--whoa
I got a million reasons off the top of my head that I could think of
Sixteen bars, this ain't enough to put some ink ta
So fuck it, I'ma start right here I'll just be brief I'm
Bout to rattle off some of the reasons
I knew I shouldn't go and get another tattoo of you
On my arm, but what do I go and do
I go and get another one, now I got two
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Now I'm sittin' here with your name on my skin
I can't believe I went and did this stupid shit again
My next girlfriend, now her name's gotta be Kim
Shi-ii-ii-ii-ii-ii-it
If you only knew how much I hated you
For every motherfuckin' thing you ever put us through
Then I wouldn't be standing here crying over you
Boo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-who

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fuckin' sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you, I puke
You must just not know--whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke

I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little letter
But I thought a song would probably be a little better
Instead of a letter
That you'd probably just shred up--yeah
I stumbled on your picture yesterday and it made me stop and think of
How much of a waste it'd be for me to put some ink ta, a stupid piece a
Paper, I'd rather let you see how
Much I fuckin' hate you in a freestyle
You're a fuckin' coke-head slut, I hope you fuckin' die
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
I hate your fuckin' guts, you fuckin' slut, I hope you die
Di-ii-ii-ii-ii-ii-ie
But please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or mad
It's not that I still love you, it's not 'cause I want you back
It's just that when I think of you, it makes me wanna
Gag-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-ag
What else can I do, I haven't got a clue
Now I guess I'll just move on, I have no choice but to
But every time I think of you now all I wanna do
Is pu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uu-uke

[Chorus]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fuckin' sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you, I puke
You must just not know--whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you, I puke

Fuckin' bitch
 
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