Barenaked Ladies

[fox69]

"The Humour Of The Situation"

"The Humour Of The Situation"



When you walked in, I said with a grin
That we were just talking about you
We all had to lie because you would cry
If you knew we were laughing at you
In the momentary lull before the band begins to play
There's an overwhelming stench of alibi

Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation
Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation

I said on the phone "don't wait til I'm home"
But I'm sure I could hear you crying
I said where I was, but you doubt it because
It's the caller I.D. you're buying
In the hour that it took for me to drive up to the door
You'd arranged all my belongings on the lawn

Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation
Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation

Have you heard the one about the boy
Who moved into the henhouse to sleep?
He woke up with egg on his face
When he found out all the hens had crossed the street

Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation
Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation

As I walked out, I thought about all I had left behind me
I felt a chill because I was still
Wearing the emperor's new clothes
My mind was racing with each chance that I had missed
While your next door neighbour soaked be with the house
I've never felt so small, I've never been so dissed
As I shiver, dripping, while the chorus goes:

Come on now, now
Come on now, now
Enjoy the humour of the situation

 

[fox69]

"The King Of Bedside Manor"

"The King Of Bedside Manor"


You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet.
So he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared,
he's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet.

[Chorus]
You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door.
He's not the king of Bedside Manor.
He hardly even lives there anymore.

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind
that I followed you into this shop
but I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Um, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback.
He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star.
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor,
quite some time ago.
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime tv show.

[Chorus]

Well he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane,
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain.

[Chorus]

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore.

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

He's not the king, he's not the king, he's not the king of Bedside Manor.

 

[fox69]

"The Love We're In"

"The Love We're In"



Why aren't we making the love we're in?
It could be the last time
You never want to throw that away
Why aren't we making the love we're in?

Less heart to heart, and more brain to brain
If you're feeling tender, I'm Novacain
Lets crash the party, I'll crash the plane

Why aren't we making the love we're in?
It could be the last time
You never want to throw that away
Why aren't we making the love we're in?

Even a beggar must have to choose.
They say you shouldn't wager more than you can lose
Make mine a double, just hold the booze

Why aren't we making the love we're in?
It could be the last time
You never want to throw that away
Why aren't we making the love we're in?

In, in
Anyone can make it but we're
In, in
Some will even fake it but we're
In, in
Why don't we just make the love we're in?
Why don't we just make the love we're in?
Why don't we just make the love we're in?

 

[fox69]

"The New Sad"

"The New Sad"



Everybody knows that happy is the new sad
So I am gonna go and imitate my old dad
And never crack a smile again.

Everybody knows that as we all get older
The will is first to go and so upon my shoulder
The bluebird shall not sing again.

Everybody knows that as our hair gets greyer
We strike a bended pose and say a little prayer
To never feel this way again.

Everybody knows it's never getting better
Everything must go and you will have to let her
And never see her face again.

Everybody's youth is only what they make it
Longer in the tooth, so why do people fake it?
We'll never get it back again.

I know it hurts
Noone wants to die.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Goodbye.
Goodbye

 

[fox69]

"The Ninjas"

"The Ninjas"



I woke up this morning and everything was different
Something was strange in the air
I woke up this morning and everything was different
I knew that the ninjas had been there

I looked all around my bedroom, underneath the dresser
Behind the bed, but nothing could be found
There was nothing left behind them, nowhere that I could find them
No fingerprints or crumbs on the ground

The ninjas are deadly and silent
They're also unspeakably violent
They speak Japanese, they do whatever they please
And sometimes they vacation in Ireland

The ninjas are deadly and silent
They're also unspeakably violent
They speak Japanese, they do whatever they please
And if you tear off their masks they'll be smiling

 

[fox69]

"The Old Apartment"

"The Old Apartment"



Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
This is where we used to live

Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dish rack?
These things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back

Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two steps from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks
This is where we used to live

Why did they pave the lawn?
Why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break in, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live

How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun
I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy there
But this is where we used to live

Broke into the old apartment
Tore the phone out of the wall
Only memories, fading memories
Blending into dull tableaux

I want them back

 

[fox69]

"The Old Apartment (Demo)"

"The Old Apartment (Demo)"


[Verse 1]
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken windows, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

[Chorus]
Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you paint the floors?
Why did you plaster over the hole I made in the door?
Where we used to live

[Verse 2]
Why did you steal the dish rack?
Why did you steal the mousetrap?
These things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back

[Verse 3]
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

[Outro]
Broke into the old apartment

 

[fox69]

"The Wrong Man Was Convicted"

"The Wrong Man Was Convicted"


Who's lonely now? Which one of us is suffering?
Who's in his cups? Which one of us recovering?
Who likes to look at pictures and cries, but way too late?
Who doesn't want to change a thing, accepting it was fate?

[Chorus]
The wrong man was convicted
You know I did the deed
I thought that you would wait for me,
Your wants I needn't heed
The wrong man lies beside you
And waits for you to wake
And all because I lacked conviction,
The judgment's my mistake

Who's breathless now? Who only hyperventilates?
Who'd die for you? Who's dying inside anyway?
Which one of us is sunshine and which one's growing dim?
When two men dream of you at night, do you just dream of him?

[Chorus]

Who's lonely now?
Who's reaching out to no one?
Who's lonely now?
It takes one to know one
I changed my mind; you said that I could change it back
I wanted space, and now change has fallen through the cracks
If I'm again beside your body, don't tell me where it's been
It's cruel, unusual punishment to kiss fingerprinted skin

[Chorus]

It's my mistake

 

[fox69]

"There's A Spider In My Room"

"There's A Spider In My Room"



There's a spider in my room
There's a spider in my room

And then a voice above my head
Said if that spider were made dead
I'd better grow some fins 'cause
It would make it easier to swim

I don't like spiders and snakes
The way they crawl, the way they shake
If a spider gets killed how does that make it rain
How could I be the one to blame

A whisper drizzled down from the ice in its eyes
it said, "Try pickin' on your own damn size,"
But the Hoover was quick, termination complete
In its bedroom home got a chance to eat.

In the corner beside my bed
Very busy spinning thread
Eight legs and a little head

I hear the thunder from outside
And the water's gettin' high

I don't like moths and bugs
They buzz, they get in the rugs
But where does a guy find some room
in this life raft home, a little rubber tomb

There's a spider in my room
There's a spider in my room

 

[fox69]

"These Apples"

"These Apples"


A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacs
But I've never been good with plants
Her next presentation, a new dictionary
She'd circled the word "romance"

So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic
I shaved her name in my head
And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it;
Need more be said?

[Chorus:]
These apples are delicious!
"As a matter of fact they are," she said
Can all this fruit be free?

She wrote me a letter as big as a phonebook
I've never been big on mail
I sent her a postcard from somewhere near Lethebridge
And wondered if it still went by rail

I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar,
You get what my meanings are

[Chorus]

I'm not trying to sing a love song - I'm trying to sing in tune.
I know I am sometimes headstrong
Falling love, catching fire - I want to be consumed
Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire??

[Chorus]