10,000 Maniacs

[Nenad__]

"Hidden In My Heart"

I see the leaves of autumn changing falling turning what was green
I see a door standing open, open to curiosity we could be together tear
it all apart would you ever notice what was hidden in my heart
heartstrong do we ever listen closely
as willows start to weep there as we stood upon the threshold
who said forever was for keeps?
would you ever notice what was hidden in my heart,
my deep heart is reeling forward and steady on to keep,
who made me miss the last ferry?
who made this river so deep?

 

[Nenad__]

"How You've Grown"

"My, how you've grown."
I remember that phrase from my childhood days too
"Just wait and see."
I remember those words and how they chided me, when patient was the hardest thing to be.
Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost, I must let these memories provide.
No little girl can stop her world to wait for me.

I should have known.
At your age, in a string of days the year is gone.
But in that space of time, it takes so long.
Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost, I must let those memories provide.
No little girl can stop her world to wait for me.

Every time we say goodbye you're frozen in my mind as the child that you never will be, you never will be again.
I'll never be more to you than a stranger could be.

Every time we say goodbye you're frozen in my mind as a child that you never will be, will be again.

 

[Nenad__]

"I'm Not The Man"

It crawls on his back, won't ever let him be.
Stares at the walls until the cinder blocks can breathe.
His eyes have gone away, escaping over time.
He rules a crowded nation inside his mind.

He knows that night like his hand.
He knows every move he made.
Late shift, the bell that rang, a time card won't fade.
10:05 his truck pulled home.
10:05 he climbed his stair, about the time he was accused of being there.

But I'm not the man.
He goes free as I wait on the row for the man to test the rope he'll slip around my throat...
and silence me.

On the day he was tried no witnesses testified.
Nothing but evidence, not hard to falsify.
His own confession was a prosecutor's prize,
made up of fear, of rage and of outright lies.

But I'm not the man.
He goes free as the candle vigil glows, as they burn my clothes.
As the crowd cries, "Hang him slow!" and I feel my blood go cold, he goes free.

Call out the KKK, they're wild after me.
And with that frenzied look of half-demented zeal,
they'd love to serve me up my final meal.
Who'll read my final rite and hear my last appeal?
Who struck this devil's deal?

 

[Nenad__]

"If You Intend"

If you intend to live again,
then open your eyes and don't pretend you're feeling there's nothing worth believing.

God, if you persist you'll die like this,
and wither in the midst of your first season,
cut down with no reason.
How can you be so near and not see everything?

If you intend to live again,
then take the outstreched hand of the one that needs you.
It's been so long, we've missed you.
Why do you intend to speed your end?
Lie in the dark and let your limbs grow weaker, sinking low then deeper.
How can you be so near and not see everything?

Feel what might be. See what I see.
Again and again and again and again say you don't.
You say you don't, but you will.
How can you be so near and not see?

 

[Nenad__]

"In The Quiet Morning"

In the quiet morning
There was much despair
And in the hours that followed
No one could repair

That poor girl
Tossed by the tides of misfortune
Barely here to tell her tale
Rolled in on a sea of disaster
Rolled out on a mainline rail

She once walked tight at my side
I'm sure she walked by you
Her striding steps could not deny
Torment from a child who knew

That in the quiet morning
There would be despair
And in the hours that followed
No one could repair

That poor girl
She cried out her song so loud
It was heard the whole world round
A symphony of violence
The great southwest unbound

 

[Nenad__]

"Jezebel"

To think of my task is chilling.
To know I was carefully building the mask I was wearing for two years, swearing I'd tear it off.
I've sat in the dark explaining to myself that I'm straining too hard for feelings I ought to find easily.
Called myself Jezebel.
I don't believe.

Before I say that the vows we made weigh like a stone in my heart.
Family is family, don't let this tear us apart.

You lie there, an innocent baby.
I feel like the thief who is raiding your home, entering and breaking and taking in every room.
I know your feelings are tender and that inside you the embers still glow.
But I'm a shadow, I'm only a bed of blackened coal.
Call myself Jezebel for wanting to leave.

I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you.
I'm just saying we've mistaken one for thousands of words.
And for that mistake, I've caused you such pain that I damn that word.
I've no more ways to hide that I'm a desolate and empty, hollow place inside.

I'm not saying I'm replacing love for some other word to describe the sacred tie that bound me to you.
I'm not saying love's a plaything.
No, it's a powerful word, inspired by strong desire to bind myself to you.
How I wish that we never had tried to be man and his wife, to weave our lives into a blindfold over both our eyes.

 

[Nenad__]

"Jubilee"

He fills the flower vases
Trims the candle bases
Takes small change from the poor box
Tyler has the key
He takes nail and hammer
To tack up the banner of felt scraps glued together reading,
"Jesus Lives in Me"
Alone in the night he mocks the words of the preacher:
"God is feeling your every pain"
Repair the Christmas stable
Restore the plaster angel
Her lips begin to crumble and her robes begin to peel
For Bible study in the church basement
Hear children Gospel citing Matthew 17:15
Alone in the night he mocks the arms of the preacher raised to the ceiling
"Tell God your pain"

To him the world's defiled
In Lot he sees a likeness there
He swears this Sodom will burn down.
Near Sacred Blood there's a dance hall
Where Tyler Glen saw a black girl and a white boy kissing shamelessly
Black hands on white shoulders
White hands on black shoulders
Dancing, and you know what's more
He's God's mad disciple,
A righteous title for the Word he heard
He so misunderstood
Though simple-minded, a crippled man, to know this man's to fear this man
To shake when he comes
Wasn't it God that let Puritans in Salem
Do what they did to the unfaithful?

Boys at the Jubilee
Slowly sink into brown-bag whiskey drinking
And reeling on their feet
Girls at the Jubilee
In low-cut dresses yield to the caresses and the man-handling
Black hands on white shoulders
White hands on black shoulders
Dancing, and you know what's more

Through the tall blades of grass he
Heads for the Jubilee
With a bucket in his right hand
Full of rags soaked in gasoline
He lifts the shingles in the dark and slips the rags there underneath
He strikes a matchstick on the box side and watches the rags ignite
He climbs the bell tower of the Sacred Blood to watch the flames
Rising higher toward the trees
Sirens wailing now toward the scene

 

[Nenad__]

"Just As The Tide Was A-Flowing"

On one morning
In the month of may
When all the birds
Were singing

I saw a lovely maiden stray
Across the fields at break of day
She softly sung her roundelay

The tide flows in
The tide flows out
Twice every day returning

Her cheeks were red
Her eyes were brown
Her hair in ringlets hanging down
Upon her face to hide the frown

Just as the tide was a flowing
The tide flows in
The tide flows out
Twice everyday returning

A sailor's wife at home must bide
She halted heavily she sighed
"he parted from poor me , a bride
I'm widowed by the sea" she cried

Just as the tide was a flowing

The tide flows in
The tide flows out
Twice every day returning

 

[Nenad__]

"Katrina's Fair"

Greta's cedar hope chest
Is full of pamphlets
Glass shelves of romantic vignettes
A journal laced with sedimentary prose

Norma gathers and collects vintage photoplays
Hair combs valentines

Lillian allows the animals to scratch
Leather crack
Mail collect in the box coatings peel

Agnes veiled cathedral dweller
Smiles with benevolent pain
It's katrina's fair tuesday morning
As she with caution unlatches the flat door
She alone cascades to the basement
Careful not to spoil her
Calico printed pinafore
Composite traits mannerists
All others dissipate

Margauritte vigilant dwells upon frigid casements

Sarah's thoughts in the velocity
Accusations always pierce and pass

Clara abandons her passions for distastes
Miss lenora p. sinclair
Early for coffee in the pool
"i'm resituating all your words"
Capital
Space
Colon
Paragraph

Sylvia keeps beasts in jars labeled
Kingdom phylum class order family genus species

 

[Nenad__]

"Like The Weather"

Color of the sky as far as I can see is coal grey.
Lift my head from the pillow and then fall again.
Shiver in my bones, just thinking about the weather.
Quiver in my lip as if I might cry.

Well by the force of will my lungs are filled and so I breathe.
Lately it seems this big bed is where I never leave.
Shiver in my bones, just thinking about the weather.
A quiver in my voice as I cry,

What a cold and a rainy day.
Where on earth is the sun hid away?

Hear the sound of a noon bell chime.
Well I'm far behind.
You've put in 'bout half a day
while here I lie
With a shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather.
A quiver in my voice as if I might cry,

What a cold and rainy day.
Where on earth is the sun hid away?

Do I need someone here to scold me
or do I need someone who'll grab and pull me out of four poster dull torpor pulling downward.
For it is such a long time since my better days.
I say my prayers nightly this will pass away.

The color of the sky is grey as I can see through the blinds.
Lift my head from the pillow and then fall again
Shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather.
A quiver in my voice as if I might cry,

A cold and a rainy day.
Where on earth is the sun hid away?
A cold and a rainy day I shiver, quiver, and try to wake.