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"What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?"

"What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?"



What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(I think it's your mind)
But I think it's YOUR MIND
(Your mind)
I think it's your mind, woo woo

ALL YOUR CHILDREN ARE POOR
UNFORTUNATE VICTIMS OF
SYSTEMS BEYOND THEIR CONTROL
A PLAGUE UPON YOUR IGNORANCE & THE GRAY
DESPAIR OF YOUR UGLY LIFE

Where did Annie go
When she went to town?
Who are all those creeps
That she brings around?

ALL YOUR CHILDREN ARE POOR
UNFORTUNATE VICTIMS OF LIES YOU BELIEVE
A PLAGUE UPON YOUR IGNORANCE THAT KEEPS
THE YOUNG FROM THE TRUTH THEY DESERVE . . .
 
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"What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)"

"What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)"



What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I . . . )
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I look in your eyes . . . )
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(My dearest, my darling, my . . . darling darling . . . )
But I think it's your MIND . . .
(My darling)
I think it's your mind
(The ugliest part of your darling)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind is ugly)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind . . .)
I think it's your mind
I think it's your mind
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your body, your body, your body, your body . . . )
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your mind it's ugly)
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Won't you please leave my nose alone!)
(Your body, your body)
(Don't touch my nose, thank you!)
Your body, your body . . .

Do it again!
Do it again!
 
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"When The Lie's So Big"

"When The Lie's So Big"


[includes quotes from Bolero (Ravel), The Battle Hymn Of The Republic (Steffe/Howe) and Happy Days Are Here Again (Yellen/Ager)]

(Pinch it good!
You know, that confinement loaf is real good stuff
Hey, you oughta try some!)

They got lies so big
They don't make a noise
They tell 'em so well
Like a secret disease
That makes you go numb

With a big ol' lie
And a flag and a pie
And a mom and a bible
Most folks are just liable
To buy any line
Any place, any time

When the lie's so big
As in Robertson's case,
(That sinister face
Behind all the Jesus hurrah)

Could result in the end
To a worrisome trend
In which every American
Not "born again"
Could be punished in cruel and unusual ways
By this treacherous cretin
Who tells everyone
That he's Jesus' best friend

When the lies get so big
And the fog gets so thick
And the facts disappear
The Republican Trick
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We'll be rid of these men!

Just who do they really
Suppose that they are?
And how do they manage to travel as far
As they seem to have come?
Were we really that dumb?

People, wake up
Figure it out
Religious fanatics
Around and about
The Court House, The State House,
The Congress, The White House

Criminal saints
With a "Heavenly Mission" -
A nation enraptured
By pure superstition

Do you believe in the Invisible Army?
(Yes, indeed!)

When the lie's so big
And the fog so thick
And the facts kept forgotten
Then the Republican Trick
(Ketchup is a vegetable!)
Can be played out again
People, please tell me when
We'll be rid of these men!
 
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"Whippin' Post"

"Whippin' Post"



I been run down
Lord, I been lied to
And I don't know why
I let that mean woman make out a fool

She took all my money
Wrecked my new car
Now she's with one of my good-time buddies,
Drinkin' in some cross-town bar

Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I been
Tied to the whippin' post
Tied to the whippin' post
Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'

My friends tell me
That I been such a fool
But I got to stand there an' take it
All for loving you

Drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what you done
Nothin' seems to change;
That bad times stay the same,
And I can't run

Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel
Like I been
Tied to the whippin' post
Tied to the whippin' post
Good Lord, I feel like I'm dyin'
 
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"White Ugliness"

"White Ugliness"


[Louis:] Grrr . . . Arf arf arf ar-ar-ar-ar-ar! Teeth out there, and ready to attack 'em. . . I had to fight back and hit 'em, like . . . you know . . . hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em, and . . . kick 'em and kick 'em and . . .
[Roy:] Did they get on top of you?
[Louis:] No, I fought so back, hard back, and, it was . . .
[Roy:] Hard back?
[Louis:] White!
[Roy:] White?
[Louis:] Yeah, white ugliness
[Roy:] Did it have teeth?
[Louis:] And it was two, it was two boogey-men along the side of, we were . . . already blocked in, so I had to . . . I had to kick, I had to fight to f-four or five boogey-men in front of me . . .
[Roy:] Then . . . but maybe he can turn into . . . I wonder if he could maybe be [?]
[Motorhead:] PFFFT!
[Louis:] Yes, [?] vicious
[Roy:] I don't know, those po- . . . I heard those ponies are really vicious!
[Louis:] I know . . . but, I know they're vicious, but they . . .
[Roy:] Their claws!
[Louis:] He d-d . . . he doesn't have to be able to do it
[Roy:] They get on top of you, and they just tear you apart
[Louis:] I know . . .
[Roy:] Tee . . .
[Louis:] Scars over here, see, scars right here. Yeah . . .
[Roy:] Teeth to limb! Teeth to limb! I mean, toe to ta- . . . man, I hope they don't get him
[Louis:] Ponies! I-i-if-if, if . . . is . . .
[Roy:] Was it white? Are you sure it wasn't w-white, I mean, uh, black, or . . .
[Louis:] Well, I think they're white, but I was too scared to notice their physical . . .
[Roy:] Gold or something?
[Louis:] I was too, I was too scared to no . . . n-no . . . uh-no . . . uh-notice their physical, ahh . . . appearance, 'cause they . . . they-they were attackin' me!
[Roy:] They were?
[Louis:] Yeah, they were . . . they were attackin' me!
[Roy:] What were they doin' to you?
[Louis:] Well, they were . . . they were like, they were . . . comin' and surroundin' me 'n everything else, and they were attackin' me and I had to fight back, fight, fight and fight back and . . . pick up sticks . . .
[Roy:] Pick-up-sticks?
[Louis:] Yes, pick up sticks, you know?
[Roy:] I used to play that game, Pick-up-sticks
[Louis:] Me too, did you ever play that game?
[Roy:] Yeah!
[Louis:] Yes! That's funny! HA HA HA!
Anyway, come back to the horse . . . back to the horse? To the pony
[Louis:] HA HA HA HA! Now . . .
[Roy:] Anyway . . .
[Louis:] Yes, pony, or . . .
[Roy:] President . . .
[Louis:] Or pope, I dunno, ah, I dunno . . .
[Roy:] I don't know . . .
[Louis:] Something down there is dangerous.
[Roy:] Could be a cigar or somethin'
[Louis:] Yeah . . .
[Roy:] A cigar?
[Louis:] A cigar? Naw, you're insane, come on!
[Roy:] Nohhh, no . . . I remember when I was a . . . no I don't remember. Those were the days!
[Louis:] Boy, you must spend all your life down here!
[Roy:] That was before the days of those horses
[Louis:] Yes, before the days of the . . . all the . . . ow-uh . . . ponies or boogey-men or somethin', what's out there
[Roy:] But then there was a . . . what was it there? No pimples?
[Louis:] No, positive
[Roy:] Sure!
[Louis:] Positively
[Roy:] You had to have 'em.
[Louis:] Naw, naw . . .
[Roy:] You've got one right in your nose right now!
[Louis:] HA HA HA HA! Scrtch-ch-ch! Scratchin' them . . .
[Roy:] Boy, I'm gettin' tired, man. We should go . . .
[Louis:] Oh, yes . . .
[Roy:] We should go to sleep
[Louis:] Oh, yeah . . .
[Roy:] I just hope he comes back . . .
[Louis:] Yes . . . Listen!
[Roy:] I think I'll pray for him
[Louis:] I think I'll join you
[Roy:] You do yours and I'll do mine . . .
[Louis:] Okay . . . HA HA HA HA!
[Roy:] And we'll hope for the best. HEH HEH HEH!
[Louis:] HA HA HA HA HA! God, God bless Motorhead
[Roy:] Now I lay me down to sleep . . .
 
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"Who Are The Brain Police?"

"Who Are The Brain Police?"



What will you do if we let you go home,
And the plastic's all melted,
And so is the chrome?
WHO ARE THE BRAIN POLICE?

What will you do when the label comes off,
And the plastic's all melted,
And the chrome is too soft?

WAAAAHHHHHH!
I think I'm gonna die . . .
I think I'm gonna die . . .
I think I'm going to die . . .
I think I'm going to die . . .
I think I'm going to die . . .
I think I'm going to die . . .
I'm gonna die . . .
I think I'm going to die . . .
I think I'm gonna die . . .
I'm going to die . . .
I think I'm gonna die . . .
I think I'm gonna die . . .
I think I'm gonna die . . .
Going to die!

WHO ARE THE BRAIN POLICE?

What will you do if the people you knew
Were the plastic that melted,
And the chromium too?
WHO ARE THE BRAIN POLICE?
 
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"Who Needs The Peace Corps?"

"Who Needs The Peace Corps?"



What's there to live for?
Who needs the peace corps?
Think I'll just DROP OUT
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig & sleep
On Owsley's floor

Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I'm completely stoned
I'm hippy & I'm trippy
I'm a gypsy on my own
I'll stay a week & get the crabs &
Take a bus back home
I'm really just a phony
But forgive me
'Cause I'm stoned

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO . . .

How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya Frisco!
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya
Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO . . .

Hotcha!

First I'll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
I will sleep . . .
I will, I will go to a house
That's, that's what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there's a rock & roll band
'Cause the groups all live together
And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their road manager
And I will stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won't care
Because . . .
 
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"Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"

"Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"


[Act I]

[SCENE SEVEN]
[WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN I PEE?]

Shortly after his liaison with the taco stand lady,
JOE makes a horrible discovery. . .

[JOE:]
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
'N' grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...
when...
I Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
 
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"Why Don't You Like Me?"

"Why Don't You Like Me?"


[includes quotes from Marche Funebre (Chopin) and Billie Jean (Jackson)]

"He's white, Jim . . . "

Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Am I really that bad?
HE'S BAD, HE'S BAD, HE'S BAD

"I think you're a jerk! I'm moving from you!"
"Make me a sandwich."
"Moving to Venice."
"I'll be black."
(Jack! What?)
"Still white, Jim . . . "

I hate my mother
I hate my father
I AM my sister . . .
And Jermaine is a negro!
A NEGRO! A NEGRO! A NEGRO!

"I thought he looked good - what happened to you?"
"Please read this pamphlet."
"I'm so BAD!"

You take the monkey, I'll take the llama,
We'll have a party: get me a Pepsi -
Michael is Janet, Janet is Michael -
I'm so confused now -
Who is Diana?

He's oxygenated
His nose is deflated
And he thinks he looks good to you
He thinks he looks good to you

[Ike:] Oh, I'm sorry . . .
[FZ:] This is supposed to be the part where I . . . name people who are not . . . related in any particular way to . . . Michael Jackson . . . so . . . oh, let's see now, who could it be . . . uh . . . What's your name . . . ? His name is Bob? Bob is not the illegitimate son of Michael Jackson, take it from me . . .

Billy Jean is not Mr. Bob
Arnold Silvestri . . . (Ha ha ha!)
Billy Jean isn't Arnold Silvestri
Jeanne Kirkpatrick . . .
Billy Jean is not Kirkpatrick
Lando Calrissian . . .

Give me oxygen
Give me oxygen
Give me oxygen
Box o' turds

[FZ:] That's right, a box o' turds!
 
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"Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?"

"Why Don'tcha Do Me Right?"



Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
You got me pulled up tight
Why don'tcha do me right?

You got me beggin' on my knees
You got me beggin' on my knees
You got me beggin' on my knees
Say-in' baby please
Come back to me

You're tryin' to wreck my life
I know you're tryin' to wreck my life
I know you're tryin' to wreck my life
And all I wanted was a wife
I know you're tryin' to wreck my life

Now what you tryin' to do?
Now what you tryin' to do?
Now what you tryin' to do?
I been true to you
Now what you tryin' to do?

Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
You got me pulled up tight
Why don'tcha do me right?

(But baby, I think I love you
But baby, I think I love you
Baby!)

Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
Why don'tcha do me right?
I wanna boogie all night
Why don'tcha do me right?
 
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